Have you ever witnessed a moment where a simple misunderstanding escalates in the blink of an eye, particularly when it pertains to misgendering?
Our latest clip episode takes you through the complex layers of such an incident, considering the weight of every word in the presence of a rolling camera.
Through a heartfelt conversation between Shane Ivan Nash, Blossom Brown, Sabel Samone-loreca, we examine the potent mix of emotions involved, the power of a sincere apology, and the impact these moments have on black trans individuals – often the unsung heroes in our midst.
Sabel Samone-loreca, a black trans woman whose life story embodies the very essence of survival and advocacy.
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Speaker 1:
Yeah, and, to be fair, there's context missing, because I know exactly which video you're talking about and it's like, first of all, they were trying to compare her to one of her celebrity friends, who's actually a friend of ours, and it was quite interesting how they did that, because ultimately, when I looked at the video, it's like okay, we know, a black man is not going to get a chance, it doesn't matter if he's queer, it doesn't matter if he's straight, okay. Secondly, she looks flustered about something. Okay, she said in the video that she was misgendered several times, but from the piece that we saw, it was only maybe once and he apologized for that. And so I think it's really important that we got to have all of the context of what's happening here, and I'm so glad that you brought up that video, because that's a really great point.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, it was one part of it where she stated that the woman had said sir, ma'am, and stuff like that, and again, it's one of those things. At least she made the process of correcting herself to make you feel comfortable. You know, she didn't know how to address you, so she said what made her feel comfortable, and she said what she thought she could make you feel comfortable with by correcting herself. And yet you still kept digging into the situation, and so that's just. I mean yeah, and she apologized, the woman apologized, and so it was like what more do you want at this point?
Speaker 3:
Yeah, yeah, and I can see that. I did see that situation and it's a duality of multiple things happening at once, you know, with the attendant there that was trying to do their job, at the same time staying respectful within the bounds, may there have been a little animosity, yeah, but I think it's being able to address that. It was on both sides there and, acknowledging that nuance, that you know there was a triggered individual in that space and it's understandable why they're triggered. I mean, if someone misgenders me, I mean I'm going to give a gut reaction, I'm going to be like whoa, that's. You know, maybe not every time. I may not land it perfectly too. It depends on you're in the middle of travel, you're in an airport, there's a lot of different factors that were going on and everybody's got a phone kind of in your face recording things. So it creates this extra level of like I'm not quite sure maybe more animosity to this space, because maybe the interaction could have been handled if the camera was. I mean, there's so many different things that we could argue.
Speaker 2:
And my thing was maybe if the camera wasn't there, the reaction would have been different.
Speaker 3:
On both sides yeah.
Speaker 2:
But because there was a camera there, the reaction just kept antagonizing the situation even more. Yeah, it felt like, and yeah, because it seemed like the more he would say to her, the more she would shove the camera into his face, and so that just made it that much harder. But yeah, that's about that.
Speaker 1:
Yeah Well, go ahead. You are a legend in this community and you are someone I feel does not get their flowers enough, nope. And as a black trans woman who's also in the same community, I admire your wisdom, I admire your experience, your storytelling, because you've been around the world. Ay, ay, ay ay.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, okay, wait, we gotta. Yeah, we got buttons to girl, we upgraded.
Speaker 1:
Tell me, tell us, how does it feel to see the legacy that you are carving play out in real time? That part Damn.
Speaker 3:
And she came from there to co-host today. Okay.
Speaker 2:
Oh, wow.
Speaker 3:
I mean we're on the view.
Speaker 2:
I mean, first of all, when the life expectancy of a trans woman is 35 or less than and I have made it to 50 plus, just to say.
Speaker 1:
Wait, where's the hold?
Speaker 3:
on, let me get it together. I think we need this one.
Speaker 2:
We got a lot of programs yeah.
Speaker 3:
What are we doing? We doing the happy one. Where is it? We got to get a drum roll, cheers, cheers there it is there we go, hey we're still learning All right, we just program the buttons.
Speaker 2:
But I mean being able to survive through is a lot, and when we talk about being a black trans woman, seeing my legacy of trans folks that have come through my path is I mean I'm grateful. I'm just really grateful that I have been had the opportunity to be in so many trans folks lives or to be a part of that or to give them that strength that says I can do this too. You know the part of not getting my flowers. I get my flowers every day in so many ways, you know when I wake up in the morning and I can see I lived another day. I get my flowers when I read and look on Instagram or TikTok and see my community. You know doing the work. I get my flowers, you know, because I see where all of this was a progress of stuff that I advocated for when I transitioned back in 99, 9, 9 years ago 2000.
Speaker 3:
In the 1900s actually girl, you know.
Speaker 2:
I'll just say it was in the 90s when I transitioned.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, that's the 1900s, it's the whole another century girl.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, covid, five years ago, I just learned that you're a week ago, um, but watching a lot of the youth that I've been involved with and seeing the not even just the youth but adults and that have I've been a part of, you know, succeed and progress is amazing. And to say that I had just a little bit to do with that, I just want to say that. I'm a little bit. Come on, this is where we're giving more credit.
Speaker 3:
Listen listen, tell the story about like, about you, like, tell, tell, tell the folks tell, put it on camera. That's why we are here is to tell this. Don't be humble about it, because we know you, but I want folks out there to know you, so I started all of a lot of all of this. No Watch.
Speaker 2:
Yes, if you want to know more about me, go, go me. Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:
My line, my line.
Speaker 2:
But I've been in this fight since 1900. Let's say you know. I have to say you know for a lot of people that don't know, and I'm really open about who I am and what I am. You know again, if I were to sit in front of you and say who is who is about?
Speaker 2:
Well, sibel is a black trans woman. She's HIV positive, she's been hep C positive, she's had cancer, she's had a couple other things go on in her life. This caused health and been very close to death because of her health, but yet today I sit here and I'm healthier than most people walk in this earth. So when I look at it from that perspective, that's who Sibel is. She's an you know. She's an achiever, she's a survivor, more than anything else. I've gone through a lot in my life and so when we talk about poverty in the community of trans folks, I know what that means as a person of color. When we talk about housing and the process of being homeless or low income housing, I know what that looks like because I live. That you know and still do today.
Speaker 3:
Lincoln bio. Make sure to hit a Venmo for her. You know we're going to put that up later.
Speaker 2:
When we talk about healthcare you know again, I'm HIV positive. I've been positive since 1986, 87. And my I am undetectable. I have really good health. I had TV. I was hepsy positive for 10 plus years and very close to death with hepsy. It came out a new research drug and I was able to take that and was completely cured Two days after I was diagnosed. After being cured of hepsy I was given a diagnosis of having prostate cancer and having to deal with that. I was diagnosed after four or five surgeries and I am cancer free.
Speaker 2:
Yes, there are blossoms on the button. You know to say that For a lot of trans folks out there, as well as people of trans women of color, I'd love to be that one that says we can make it, we can survive through anything if you want it. Bad enough, a lot of my trans sisters and brothers I know suicide rate for us is high and what I can say to a lot of them is just you know, patience, be patient. I would have never thought that 2024 I'd be sitting on the couch talking about my life as a podcast and what that means to me you know. So, be patient, things happen, you survive it. You know. If you've made it, you know it's a lesson. There's a lesson in there.
Speaker 2:
You know, and I come from not such a religious family, although I'm more Buddhist than anything else but I did grow up in Catholic school and boarding school and stuff like that, and I was always taught my grandmother and my mother are very religious and so I was always taught God, don't give you no more than a plate, then you can handle. And if you put it on your plate, then I mean you could handle it. And so I'm on E, you know, and that's what I do today? I eat, you know.
Speaker 3:
Give me something?
Speaker 2:
No, clearly, because I'm going to devour it. Don't tell me what I can't do, because I'll prove you wrong.
Speaker 1:
And you eat very well. You notice, hey, you notice, I do Body by skin.
Speaker 3:
Oh my goodness. So you know, I want to talk more about your work too. I mean the HIV commission. There's history there Like tell me about it. I mean, were you the first? I?
Speaker 2:
wasn't the first, okay, but there were folks that were on the commission before me. I just kind of pushed a little harder than most did, and then I kind of advocated the most, like I was one of the first black trans women. That was part of the HIV Stops With Me campaign that was out back in 93, now back in 2000. That talked about HIV positive and actually being putting that Back then, though, too. That was a really hard time.
Speaker 1:
One of the things I used to say there was a.
Speaker 2:
they had all these poster boards all over the city with buses and stuff and I would get on the bus and there would be my picture above me talking about HIV stops with me you know, and so that was kind of hard. Or you're driving down the street and you see on the back of the bus HIV stops with me, and you just kind of look around and everybody kind of starts moving there.
Speaker 2:
I'm not a celebrity or anything. Oh my God, no, you're just up there. So it's kind of that. History of me started in San Francisco, though, because that's where I was. Like I said again, I was diagnosed positive in 86, 87. And that was before AZT or anything else came out, so to say. Today we have shots and injections and patches and shit you can take to help prevent from destroying your body or from dying from HIV and AIDS.
