Shattering Stereotypes with Brennan Beckwith's Voice

When Brennan Beckwith opened up about his journey as a non-binary and queer pioneer on YouTube, it wasn't just another story—it was a testament to the courage and resilience that has defined a decade in the limelight of digital media. 

Shane Ivan Nash and Blossom C. Brown's conversation with Brennan is a profound exploration of identity, the power of representation, and the battles fought both publicly and internally. From the backlash during their early years of transition to a pivotal appearance on MTV's True Life, Brennan's narrative isn't just his own but a reflection of a community's evolution.

Strap in for a raw discussion on the challenges non-binary and trans creators face, especially when pitted against the harshness of online hate and the divisive ideology of transmedicalism. 

Brennan shares invaluable advice for content creators, urging them to focus on impact over analytics. We also unravel the complexities of growing through adversity, the navigation of toxic environments, and the importance of public healing. Brennan's experiences highlight the journey toward acceptance, the discovery of supportive communities, and the importance of unity and collective resilience in the face of societal transphobia.

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Transcript

Shane Ivan Nash: 0:00

This is the Transparency Podcast Show. Welcome to the Transparency Podcast. My name is Shane Ivan Nash and I'm with my partner in crime, blossom C Brown.

Blossom C. Brown: 0:09

Your favorite trans liberal that you love to love and you love to hate. Shane, I missed you. I missed you too.

Shane Ivan Nash: 0:15

Mmm, you know, my favorite line is tag me if you're nasty.

Blossom C. Brown: 0:19

Ooh, I don't play, okay, so.

Shane Ivan Nash: 0:23

I've got wow, I've got a guest here that has history on the internet. I'm sure folks have so many questions for this individual, this amazing human that I really just met recently in person. But I've done a lot of research and found out a lot more and I'm excited to have that conversation. How the hell is it going?

Brennan Beckwith: 0:46

And welcome. It's going good Um.

Shane Ivan Nash: 0:50

By the way, it's Brennan Beckwith. If you didn't know, this is Brennan Beckwith.

Brennan Beckwith: 0:53

Yes In the building. I'm Brennan. I'm gonna be looking at myself in the viewfinder, oh, okay.

Shane Ivan Nash: 1:01

Let's all get a moment, let's just get beautiful in that camera, which is my camera. Angles, angles, where's my camera? They're all your camera.

Blossom C. Brown: 1:06

Yeah, all of them.

Shane Ivan Nash: 1:09

If it's got a light, it's got your name on it.

Brennan Beckwith: 1:12

Yeah, so I'm Brennan YouTubecom slash Brennan Beckwith. I live stream. I make a lot of content. I have a web show called Brennames that is coming back on Wednesday Very excited Probably. I don't know when this is gonna come out, but probably after that premiere. So yeah, I've been doing YouTube for maybe like 10 years. I've been working in content creation for a very long time. I also just professionally work in social media production, so yeah, that's me.

Blossom C. Brown: 1:43

It's amazing.

Shane Ivan Nash: 1:44

You've got a lot of history, especially like on YouTube, yeah, so where did you get started with YouTube? What made you say upload the first video?

Brennan Beckwith: 1:55

I was a big fan of YouTubers back in maybe 2010 to 2014, those early golden age of YouTube where people like Tyler Oakley, troy Simmer, I love Tyler.

Brennan Beckwith: 2:09

People. You know I was really. I was closeted trans boy in love with not closeted gay boys and I think I lived vicariously through them a little bit, but yeah. So I kind of just wanted to be like them and so I started making YouTube videos talking about my life sporadically, and yeah, then I made my video that Calvin Garre reacted to, and then Calvin Garre reacted to it and I left the internet for a few years and then came back with my video about him and things kind of just progressed from there and yeah.

Blossom C. Brown: 2:58

Yeah, so for context, who was this Calvin person?

Shane Ivan Nash: 3:00

Yeah, because I'm an old head and I'm like what the hell is Calvin?

Brennan Beckwith: 3:03

Garre. Calvin Garre is kind of like the trans mask Blair White, if you will or was Like he doesn't make. We need to go there.

Blossom C. Brown: 3:13

OK.

Brennan Beckwith: 3:14

He doesn't make content anymore, but basically he made a lot of reaction content. He's a trans guy that just fed into the transmedicalist narrative anti-non-binary, anti-cringe culture kind of reactionary YouTuber, and I was the exact opposite. I was making non-binary videos before. It was cool, when it was cringy and when it was my pink hair, and I was an opposite.

Shane Ivan Nash: 3:47

No, you were really a pioneer. I looked back at some stuff A legend, yeah.

Brennan Beckwith: 3:51

Yeah, thank you so much.

Shane Ivan Nash: 3:52

No, seriously, there was a lot of people that I think were afraid to express themselves in the way that you did, especially early transition, yeah, and you caught a lot of flak for that.

Brennan Beckwith: 4:02

Yeah, I think that I didn't really know what I was doing at the time. I think that I was, just like I said, a fan of YouTubers, so I was making YouTube videos about my experience. I was big inspired by Ash Hardell and Milo Stewart. Oh, ash, I remember Ash Ash Hardell's great Love them so much. They're just now getting back into making YouTube videos again and I'm really excited to see where they go with all of that. And, yeah, so I was inspired by queer content creators like that, and I didn't have a big following. I had a following from Tumblr actually Tumblr, we missed that. Wait, I thought you were Gen.

Shane Ivan Nash: 4:42

Z what Tumblr I?

Brennan Beckwith: 4:43

think Tumblr Did you get the last cusp of it. I'm a Gen Zelenial. I'm on the cusp of Gen.

Blossom C. Brown: 4:48

Zelenial. So you're like 94, 95?

Brennan Beckwith: 4:51

98.

Blossom C. Brown: 4:52

98? Yeah, you are yeah.

Brennan Beckwith: 4:57

So, yeah, I was on Tumblr. I made videos about being queer and non-binary and genderqueer. I came out as gender fluid on the internet and that brought me to an episode of MTV's True Life. Wow, you didn't find this out in your research.

Shane Ivan Nash: 5:16

No, I did. I have to be wow for the audience too. You know what I mean. Yes, wow, I know.

Brennan Beckwith: 5:23

Yeah, so I guess too, I can also owe some of my following and some of my history to True Life. I'm genderqueer. That was a very interesting experience. I was 17 years old.

Shane Ivan Nash: 5:36

What, yeah, when MTV came up in my house, how was that? He's like a pioneer for non-binary folks. That's why I wanted him on, yeah.

Blossom C. Brown: 5:44

Yeah, but you know at the age of 17,. Though what does that pressure look like? How was that experience for you?

Shane Ivan Nash: 5:49

Especially back then I didn't really.

Brennan Beckwith: 5:51

Again, I didn't really know what I was doing. I kind of just took opportunities when they came to me and I just loved being myself in that way. I loved the idea of being non-binary. I loved genderfuckery. I didn't know that word at the time, it's OK, you can cuss.

Shane Ivan Nash: 6:14

You can like cussing here.

Brennan Beckwith: 6:16

I did some.

Blossom C. Brown: 6:20

That's what we do here. We do here.

Brennan Beckwith: 6:23

Yeah, so I did some. I was really into all that kind of stuff and making content, so I actually came out as genderfluid in a YouTube video and then they found me through that and you know the reality TV game where they take people who don't necessarily understand the whole gig, and they sell you on this idea.

Shane Ivan Nash: 6:45

They're telling two people that run a Jubilee episode. I have no idea what that's like I've never been in that position in my life Do you have?

Brennan Beckwith: 6:53

any idea what that's like? No idea. You know how it is, you know how it is. But I loved it. I was 17. They told me I could be a star. They told me that I was helping the community and stuff, and so I signed a bunch of contracts and they came to my place. But I don't know, I learned a lot. It was super fun to be on camera but, yeah, it really did kind of push me into the spotlight at a pretty early age and at an early time in my identity as well. I had not fully. I am not the person that I was when I was 17. So I was looking back on it as a little cringy to me.

Shane Ivan Nash: 7:42

Anybody that looks back at 17,. I look back at my 17-year-old self and I'm like bro.

Brennan Beckwith: 7:47

But y'all can't call me cringy. That would be Calvin Garrick territory. That would be Calvin Garrick territory. You got to protect 17-year-old Brennan. But I look back at 17-year-old Brennan and even though I'm like ugh, I'm so not that person anymore. And now there's this episode of me talking about identities and queerness and transness, before I even knew at all what I was talking about. But I also love that version of me. I love past me. I think that they were so fucking cool and so brave and just really put it all out on the table for whoever wanted to see. And I was doing it to talk about my community and my identity. And I was really well positioned, like I was very privileged, my parents were supportive, I was okay, so I was able to talk about it and be open about it in ways that a lot of people can't, and so, yeah, I really admire that version of me and it brought me here. So you know.

Blossom C. Brown: 9:02

That's quite incredible. I'm listening, and I'm listening and I'm thinking to myself. What advice would you give to any trans or non-binary person that's coming up in content creating and, as a YouTuber, like what would you, based on your experience, Like well, like me, like, just put stuff out there.

Brennan Beckwith: 9:19

Like, just get stuff out there. You know, if you, there's a lot of people talking about creating and talking about putting stuff into the world and they have lots of ideas, but you really just gotta start putting stuff out. Like and this is something that I, you know, over years and years of content creation, have struggled with myself Just going from idea to product. Right, and I think you just have to do it. You just have to start doing it. You can't worry too much about everything else. You just have to, like, if you have an idea for a video or for something to talk about, like just start talking about it and keep putting stuff out into the world and don't worry too much about the you know views and numbers and comments and stuff like that. Just keep putting it out there. You know Completely.

Shane Ivan Nash: 10:19

Yeah, and you know you kind of talk about your former self. You know that, calvin Garra situation from my research that I've done and just spoken with you personally we definitely where is that it's right here? I remember where that is.

Blossom C. Brown: 10:34

Boo yeah, we boo-dose, let me say that name we boo-bullies around here.

Shane Ivan Nash: 10:39

But you know, I know that you said that it changed you.

Brennan Beckwith: 10:43

Oh, yeah, of course. I mean you know Calvin Garra, he was just so mean, he was just so mean to me and I really was like very you know, I was vulnerable, right, like I really put all myself out onto the internet and I was not getting the views or the following that Calvin had. Like I maybe had 500 subscribers and I'm telling you that's all from like, my famous Tyler Oakley Tumblr blog, like and the video he reacted to at the time. That he reacted to it was what was it called?

Brennan Beckwith: 11:19

It had like 280 videos it maybe had like yeah, maybe like 200 views or something. So you know, sometimes I feel like he saw me out, but I think that-. No, it definitely looks like Tyler, I think that, yeah, when he created that video, it really sent a lot of attention my way that I just did not know how to handle. I was in college, I was, you know, I was just like studying theater. I was a resident assistant. Me too yeah.

Blossom C. Brown: 11:51

What I love man.

Brennan Beckwith: 11:54

I was a resident assistant. That was a wild time of my life.

Blossom C. Brown: 11:57

I did it in the summer, Wait what happened, oh man I mean like just being a resident assistant.

Brennan Beckwith: 12:01

Oh, I found everything. I was a cool RA, though I was one of those, like you know, hear no evil, see no evil kind of RA.

Blossom C. Brown: 12:11

I had it on Monday night. I was like Monday nights in the summer and I had to go to summer school because I was like running out of money and I was running out of financial aid. I was like, oh my God, it was one of the most chillest jobs I ever had.

Brennan Beckwith: 12:24

Yeah, it was a wild job and you know I they always put the queer people on my floor or on my hallway and the theater kids. So I had a wild time. I don't know.

Shane Ivan Nash: 12:38

There was a lot of pot on that floor. I'm sorry.

Brennan Beckwith: 12:46

I'm so much shit and but I loved that job. But yeah, so I was. Just, I was just not prepared for the level of hate and like harassment that I was experiencing. And then there was also like an element of that hate and harassment coming from trans men and trans mask people. Because Calvin Garrow's trans and his whole point about me was that I was, you know, misrepresenting the trans mask experience.

Brennan Beckwith: 13:15

I was a transgender, I was only being trans for the trend of it all, and I think that he projected a lot of his issues onto me Like he didn't know me right. But I think that I just garnered a very visceral angry reaction in him and I think all of his fans were also like very angry young trans boys and they needed somewhere to put it all.

Shane Ivan Nash: 13:45

And so or what is it? Andrew Tate kind of situation? Yeah, I mean, I guess that's what it kind of looks like. Who was there?

Brennan Beckwith: 13:53

Girl, he's cancel, but Andrew Tate, very, very feminist, misogynist. Yeah, he's jail now, isn't he? I don't know.

Shane Ivan Nash: 14:01

I hope he's still in jail, but yeah, it's like an ad, like a trans. Andrew Tate.

Brennan Beckwith: 14:06

Yeah, I suppose, but I think that you know I think they were just very, very angry.

Brennan Beckwith: 14:13

They were just very angry. I think Calvin I don't know over I mean I'm 25 now. I think Calvin was like 17. He was younger than me when he made that video about me, and so I have a lot of I don't know empathy for him or like I don't know. Sometimes I say that you know, I love that kid. I love that kid. I think that you know, he's got a lot of things in his head that I just don't have, and I think that he's got a lot more demons than I ever have and I- that's what I see with these folks.

Shane Ivan Nash: 14:49

Yeah, like they're white and buck and stuff like that. I feel like they are maybe in their transition. The people around them treated that. I love you, ross.

Blossom C. Brown: 14:59

It's an evil laugh.

Shane Ivan Nash: 15:00

It's an evil laugh. I feel like and this is how I'm trying to unpack it to understand how they got to that point it's like maybe in their transition, their environment that they transitioned in was so toxic that it created a scenario for them where it's like, well, I had to get surgery, I had to get this, I had to get that to barely be considered anything. How dare you not get surgery?

Brennan Beckwith: 15:20

How dare you be happy in a body that I'm bad?

Shane Ivan Nash: 15:22

at Exactly, and it's almost like there's like a jealousy thing here.

Brennan Beckwith: 15:26

I think, it's jealousy. I think that he saw himself in me and I think that I think that he was, yeah, angry that I was.

Blossom C. Brown: 15:38

I figured out a different way, the audacity to be happy.

Brennan Beckwith: 15:41

Yeah, I figured out a different way to deal with my dysphoria and to deal I think that's it was. Even the title of the video he reacted to was my gender dysphoria and how I deal with it, and it was just not the way that he wanted to.

Shane Ivan Nash: 15:56

he wanted to do it Because he was looking for cis male validation at the end of the day.

Brennan Beckwith: 15:59

Yeah, I don't know if he is looking for cis. I think he was just looking for validation in general. I suppose I think that he was really angry and I think that being angry at that time what 20, maybe he did it in 2018, 2016 to 2018, was a very popular time to hate on the cringe, hate on the blue hair, the pink hair.

Shane Ivan Nash: 16:22

Yeah, it was a trend Non-binaries.

Brennan Beckwith: 16:25

It was very, very popular, and so his form of anger and transmedicalism and his ideologies, if you could call them that. I think he was just angry, yelling at people. I don't think he really knew what the I think he used transmedicalism as an ideology to like justify his anger and justify his projection, but I think that that was just very popular at the time as well, like that video he made about me got you know. I mean in the end like 2 million views which is a lot of money for a 17 year old yeah.

Shane Ivan Nash: 17:00

And I didn't realize the numbers. I never looked at the metrics on his 2 million views.

Brennan Beckwith: 17:04

Yeah, it got ultimately 2 million views, and so I think what was also interesting about me was that I was the first non-binary cringy person that he reacted to, and so, I think, with the success of my video, oh my God, oh my God, little Britney. That's me in high school. That's probably after my MTV.

Blossom C. Brown: 17:31

True.

Brennan Beckwith: 17:31

Life episode. Maybe a little bit. I was probably 17 in that.

Blossom C. Brown: 17:37

You look so cute in the sense.

Brennan Beckwith: 17:40

I need to change my style a little bit.

Blossom C. Brown: 17:42

Listen, y'all were saying the word transmedicalism. Can y'all explain that for the viewers, Because that's the new? Part of the day of never really.

Brennan Beckwith: 17:49

Transmedicalism. It's a very popular ideology among the Blair Whites, the Buck Angels, the Calvin Garrows of the world. It's just this ideology that you can't be trans or you're not truly trans unless you're seeking and receiving medical gender affirming care. And it was just this very popular pushback ideology, counterculture to the gender fuckery, gender queer ideology of self-identification you're trans if you say you're trans. There's no right or wrong way to be trans.

Brennan Beckwith: 18:32

Non-binary identities and gender queer identities and gender fuckery identities, gender non-conforming identities all flow between what it is to be trans and it's kind of like this self-identification, like you actually decide what it is to be trans. So transmedicalism is just like the opposite of that ideology. Transmedicalism follows this narrative that in order to be considered truly trans, whatever that means, you have to be seeking in the trans mass case, like top surgery, hormone replacement therapy, other surgeries, right. But it was just a very popular ideology to just hate on trans people you don't get. That's really what it boiled down to and what Calvin Garry used that ideology to justify just making fun of cringy people he doesn't like.

Shane Ivan Nash: 20:00

But you got him off the internet, yeah, I did. My question is how did you go from being in that position where you're a young kid, you're dealing with all this hate comments and you obviously took some time and grew and fiddled. You came back with a vengeance.

Brennan Beckwith: 20:21

So you know what happened was. So what happened was, you know I had to leave. I had to leave the internet for a little while. For about two years I finished college and I just had to leave. It was one of those things where everything I posted, whatever I said, no matter how I said it.

Shane Ivan Nash: 20:48

Oh, we have no idea what that's like. I have no clue. I have no empathy for that situation. Not every post where it has nothing to related but their fans are following us everywhere. I have no idea what that's like it's horrible. What the hell dude.

Brennan Beckwith: 21:05

You know, Calvin Garastani's had me on notifications so whenever I posted they would come running and I just didn't know how to deal with it at the time. And I mean, who does right?

Shane Ivan Nash: 21:16

I'm a grown-ass man and I'm like what the hell is going on, so I understand.

Brennan Beckwith: 21:21

So I just left the internet for a little while and, like I said, I had to do my own thing. Finish school, I was in Pensacola, florida. I was the president of several clubs, I was an RA, had my great group of friends, and then in 2020 was when I graduated and I had to move back to LA where my parents live, and all of that was kind of very shocking.

Shane Ivan Nash: 21:50

Wait, as a trans person, you left LA and went to Florida.

Brennan Beckwith: 21:53

No, so my parents lived in Florida.

Shane Ivan Nash: 21:55

Okay, because I was like you, left, when I went to Florida, our rights for less rights yeah, yeah, yeah, they left me actually. Oh, wow.

Blossom C. Brown: 22:03

That happens a lot more than what people know.

Brennan Beckwith: 22:05

No, no no, I love them so much, but yeah. So I moved back to LA and I didn't really know what to do because I was supposed to finish my bachelor's degree and go to get my graduate degree. I was going to go straight to graduate school and then I was like at home all of a sudden. I even planned to transition without involving any of my family or anything. I planned to just start T and get top surgery and then, just like, when they saw me, they saw me.

Blossom C. Brown: 22:46

We have a similar experience and I can relate to that. As a trans woman, I tried to hit my entire transition from my mother.

Blossom C. Brown: 22:54

It was just really, really challenging being in a household where you're expected so much of you and when you need to transition because you don't feel like who you are on the outside is aligning with how you feel on the inside. It's hard to navigate that. And going back to what I said in a previous episode about detransitioning, I did that a lot, yeah, but what people like Calvin and some of these other people have done is turn that into propaganda for trans medicalism.

Brennan Beckwith: 23:25

Yeah, with the detransition Okay let me tears myself. Figuring out the family aspect was difficult, but it wasn't ever that they were unaccepting, it was kind of just I wanted to do it myself without hearing what they had to say. I didn't want to walk them through.

Shane Ivan Nash: 23:45

You knew what you wanted and you didn't want anybody in the way.

Brennan Beckwith: 23:47

But then the pandemic put me back in my parents' house and I it was like, okay, I guess I'm doing this with them more involved. But that turned out to be great. My mom nursed me back to health after top surgery.

Blossom C. Brown: 24:05

Oh my.

Brennan Beckwith: 24:05

God, I think for some parents it's just like once you're like this is what's happening, they're on board. Yeah, and they know when you're not going to be able to change their minds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly exactly Once they're the element, but anyway, so, yeah. So I moved back to LA and I started doing TikTok, actually, and I started meeting a bunch of. I told you, tiktok loves trans guys, yeah, I started meeting a bunch of people.

Brennan Beckwith: 24:29

I know, and it was really refreshing because I started to see a lot of people using the terminology that I was using on YouTube and getting totally hated for and people identifying the way that I identified and had been kind of conditioned to really feel weird about those parts of myself and just hide those parts of myself on the internet, be really careful about how I spoke about my identity on the internet. And then here was TikTok and people with pink hair, again just being 100% themselves and I was like, okay, maybe I can come back, maybe I can do this, maybe I can talk about this stuff again. And so I ended up getting a group of friends of all content creators. During the pandemic, I think a lot of people experimented with Zoom activism, where they just got a bunch of queer people from around the world in a Zoom call.

Shane Ivan Nash: 25:28

Yeah, like a we Are the World moment.

Brennan Beckwith: 25:30

Yeah, exactly, and so I met a lot of trans and queer people through that and I kind of started preparing, I think I was like I talked to a few of my friends and I was like do you think that I should Talk about Calvin?

Brennan Beckwith: 25:46

Like do you think that I do, you think that you know I'm ready to do it. And then, oh, what happened? I remember now is Calvin deleted the video about me, or he private it. He private the video and I was like, wait a second, he can't just erase it. He can't just erase something that was like the bane of my existence for two years, um, and kind of like world, or world, you know, ever look at the same right. Yeah, exactly, I was like. I was like wait a second, yeah.

Shane Ivan Nash: 26:14

I saw you don't understand this kid. When you mind if I tell this.

Blossom C. Brown: 26:17

Yeah, yeah.

Shane Ivan Nash: 26:18

So this Calvin guy kid went on. What was her name? Who was? Who was who?

Brennan Beckwith: 26:25

was the streamer.

Shane Ivan Nash: 26:26

The streamer.

Brennan Beckwith: 26:27

Riley Grace Roshan.

Shane Ivan Nash: 26:28

Okay, goes on and plays world of war, that girl love her like playing a video game while having this serious conversation. Let me not digress.

Brennan Beckwith: 26:38

I feel like.

Shane Ivan Nash: 26:38

I'm I'm messing up.

Brennan Beckwith: 26:39

Yeah, because, like I was, like, why are they playing video games? Cause I was going to bring Fortnite today honestly, and you and I were going to play Fortnite and we were just going to talk about Calvin.

Shane Ivan Nash: 26:49

We were like dude, drop me yeah.

Brennan Beckwith: 26:53

I just um, so yeah, Riley Grace Roshan was involved, uh, but she doesn't make content anymore either. She kind of went on her own little crash and burn moment for her, but uh, yeah, so she had Calvin on and was kind of doing debate with him and kind of it was a little strange, the weirdest video. Um, it was a little strange conversation and I was like I don't want Calvin to be the only person talking about this and I don't want him to have, uh, I didn't think that he was going to have a redemption arc or anything, but I I was like I need to, I need to say what I need to say about this, yeah, and so I got my support, I got someone to help me, um, write it. I got someone to help me do the research my my lovely writer at the time, alice.

Brennan Beckwith: 27:37

I really, really, um, actually I think she goes by a different name now.

Shane Ivan Nash: 27:42

Oh, Um.

Brennan Beckwith: 27:43

Anne.

Shane Ivan Nash: 27:44

Erased it. We didn't hear it.

Brennan Beckwith: 27:44

My man, now Yep, close it up, close it up, even though it's alive. Uh, but I want to live, um, uh, but no, she's great. I really really uh, really really really uh uh, care about her so much. She was great, she's trans and she really really helped me uh kind of build the confidence and do the research I needed to uh post that video. And then, uh, yeah, and I just talked about like my experience and how it affected me, how, like having a bunch of trans men, uh you know, out to get you.

Shane Ivan Nash: 28:19

Circle you like showing us.

Brennan Beckwith: 28:20

Really really uh negatively affected me and uh, you know, and I found with that video and I made some tick talks about it as well Like I kind of found that you know, a lot of people felt the same way as me. A lot of people felt like, um, that ideology, that uh presence, calvin's presence um kind of intimidated them out of feeling certain ways about their identities. Um, a lot of people who identified with me um felt more like they had to identify with Calvin. A lot of people came back that much influence on.

Shane Ivan Nash: 28:58

Yeah, oh, I didn't know who the kid was A hundred percent.

Brennan Beckwith: 29:01

He was very, very popular.

Shane Ivan Nash: 29:02

So he created like a generation of guys.

Brennan Beckwith: 29:04

Yeah, he may have maybe like 300,000 subscribers. They were all trans, young trans guys, just like him. Um, they were all angry. Oh no, somebody's calling me Sorry, uh-oh. It's okay, it's okay, sorry, um, but yeah, so, uh, I think it's so weird yeah.

Brennan Beckwith: 29:23

He had a huge following, um, and they were all like very, you know, uh, like I said, like very just, angry, self-hating, like trans kids, um, that were validated by all of Calvin's anger. And Calvin was doing it, you know, not only because he was angry, because he was making a lot of money off of it. Yeah, I mean we, we've seen it with you know who were you know it's the grift right and I was just collateral damage in a lot of ways. I like say it one more time.

Blossom C. Brown: 29:50

Blossom, that grift word. Listen, that grifting word is so interesting in our trans community.

Brennan Beckwith: 29:59

I know I love that word, I think it's so funny, but yeah, so I just talked about it in that video and it went. It got a lot of traction within that community. A lot of people uh reached out to me apologizing for for you know they, you know a lot of stories of, like you know, I was really into Calvin and I probably commented on your stuff and said some really mean things and I just like I I don't know who I was back then and like I you know you helped me understand that that was just such a counterproductive way to think about transness and way to think about queerness and I think a lot of people kind of grew through that experience and through me sharing about that. Um, and I feel like in a lot of ways, I kind of uh called out this like uh divide in the trans mass community online and I uh kind of put a face to it.

Shane Ivan Nash: 31:00

I'm happy you did, I'm really happy you did because, like I mean, granted I'm, I'm a binary guy. You know I give dude bro energy. I know, I know, I'm very well aware, like I said, I look like an 80s villain, but um Bro, exactly. But you know one thing that at least in my life I don't look at your identity as a bad representation of trans mass.

Brennan Beckwith: 31:23

Yeah, it never was.

Shane Ivan Nash: 31:24

I've never been like threatened or upset or anything, because I understand like the system at play and how it works as a whole and I mean I see you as like a little brother that I want to protect and especially because you're non-binary, because of like folks like next benedict and everything that happened in that situation.

Brennan Beckwith: 31:41

Yeah, I mean, I think that you know the. I think that we just got to stick together. You know, I think that, like Bro, I could protect you.

Shane Ivan Nash: 31:50

You know what I mean. I'm a big dude.

Brennan Beckwith: 31:51

The, the. I think that the inner, uh, the kind of the inner community arguing and kind of blaming each other for you know, it feels like a sigh-up. Like Calvin Garra, you know, I was never. I never was the cause of transphobia you know whether I existed or not?

Blossom C. Brown: 32:09

Oh, say that again. Like that back up.

Brennan Beckwith: 32:11

My pink hair ass, like was never gonna, was never the reason that people hate a trans people. Like people hate trans people because we're trans. People hate trans people because we're, you know, pushing against this strict gender, gender roles, right, and I think Calvin, you know, just used transmedicalism to be angry with me and to justify his anger. Um, and I think, yeah, me talking about it was like very relieving and very uh healing. You know, I think that something I always said back then was uh, I was, I was uh hurt publicly so I had to heal publicly.

Blossom C. Brown: 32:54

Oh, really I like that, yeah, and I, I think that, yeah, so I think I thought you were gonna say privately, that's interesting.

Brennan Beckwith: 33:04

No, publicly. Yeah. So I think that you know since Calvin, at the time I was-.

Shane Ivan Nash: 33:09

This is why I like Gen Z, because we were a little. We are more like as millennials, like, yes, we-. We're very vengeful, but but at the same time, like Gen Z, like you guys, go with your full chest in situation.

Brennan Beckwith: 33:20

Yeah.

Shane Ivan Nash: 33:21

And in a in a like yes, we had that energy, but we still were more reserved, and I feel like Gen Z doesn't do that. Yeah, like saying publicly because I thought you were gonna say privately too, because I was like oh yeah, privately that makes sense, but you're saying publicly actually makes more sense. You deserve that space.

Brennan Beckwith: 33:35

Yeah, and I think that, like I was, it wasn't just me that Calvin was attacking, right, it was-.

Brennan Beckwith: 33:40

The ideology of you People who look like me, people who act like me, people who feel like me and identify with me, and so not I wasn't the only person in the room there. I think that a lot of people were hurt by the ideology that Calvin spread and he you know he the success of that video was what caused him to make more videos about people like me and to kind of build his career off of making fun of non-binary people and non-binary ideologies.

Shane Ivan Nash: 34:12

They seem to be targeting again like kids.

Brennan Beckwith: 34:16

Yeah, trans masks.

Shane Ivan Nash: 34:17

You know, it seems like it's like AFAB folks that are in their teens or early teens that don't have the means to defend them.

Brennan Beckwith: 34:23

The trans masks? Yeah, exactly, easy targets, right.

Shane Ivan Nash: 34:26

Yeah, like easy, vulnerable targets, which is weird because some of these people are like 30 years old doing this.

Brennan Beckwith: 34:31

Yeah, yeah, but they-.

Shane Ivan Nash: 34:33

Editing for eight hours of the child on their computer, exactly like you said, telling us they're protecting children. They can't fight back.

Brennan Beckwith: 34:37

They can't fight back. And so I think me coming back was kind of being like all right, we're gonna, we gotta talk about this, I gotta fight back a little bit, I gotta, you know, say my piece and kind of see what happens. And you know, calvin, I think I had maybe too high of expectations for Calvin himself, but I think the ideal, like I think that the overarching conversation really moved towards a anti oh, excuse me like a-.

Shane Ivan Nash: 35:09

It's okay. We're getting deep in conversation. Yeah, that's really good.

Brennan Beckwith: 35:11

That means we're getting real deep in there, like a like an anti you know, anti-transmedicalist ideology, right, Like very much, like you know-.

Shane Ivan Nash: 35:20

Because, dude, people freak out that I'm not on T and I'm still-.

Brennan Beckwith: 35:23

Yeah, that's crazy People were like wait what?

Shane Ivan Nash: 35:25

And to be fair, something. That why I came out on Jubilee Life's not fair. Are we gonna talk about my dick again?

Blossom C. Brown: 35:33

Every, almost every other episode, shane talks about his-.

Shane Ivan Nash: 35:37

When you hit that button, the not fair button, because it's still not fair, but like in that situation, like looking at how we all kind of just fell in this place and and yeah it's. I came out on Jubilee in that moment because a lot of folks actually always assumed that I was on T the whole time and for me, like I'm in Hollywood, I didn't want my skin to crack or my hair to disappear too.

Blossom C. Brown: 36:03

Yeah.

Shane Ivan Nash: 36:04

I don't know many trans men that still have hair. Sorry, I love y'all, but like it. Things like that scared me. I also didn't have like the means financially to have consistent healthcare, especially when I was younger.

Shane Ivan Nash: 36:17

Yeah, there was a lot of different things that played into it. And then as I got older, I was like I feel like the manliest of man, because I'm like I'm not even taking tea and I am all the way in there and I can handle that and that's why, in some weird way, I feel like I'm non-binary, but just like one drop if that makes sense.

Brennan Beckwith: 36:36

Sure, yeah, I think everyone's a little non-binary.

Shane Ivan Nash: 36:38

Yeah, and that's why when I we need to say that, I know, I know, when I realized it about myself, it was almost in that Jubilee episode, because I was so pissed at the rhetoric in the space and it was just shitting on Alex who was in that space and they were just being attacked and interrupted and I was like looking in that space.

Shane Ivan Nash: 36:59

I don't see you as less human than me and I don't understand why people try to create that narrative, that because you have pink hair or because you wear whatever you wear I'm wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. I'm boring, I'm generic as shit.

Blossom C. Brown: 37:13

Yeah.

Shane Ivan Nash: 37:15

And we can both coexist in that space.

Brennan Beckwith: 37:17

I think that, too, non-binary people aren't the enemy Right. I think that transphobia is the enemy. Anti-trans legislation is the enemy. These politicians that are just out to get trans people are the enemy. Me talking about being non-binary in my dorm room is not the enemy, and I think that there's just a lot of projection, and there's a lot of when you hate yourself as a trans person, you really want to justify it. You really want to Hurt people hurt people.

Brennan Beckwith: 37:49

You want to understand why, and I think transmedicalism gives you this outlet for hating yourself, because in transmedicalism the goalpost always moves and transmedicalism creates this box of transness that even the transmedicalists will find it difficult to fit into at some points. So I think that it's just a lame ideology. It's very limiting and it's not productive. It's not productive to keep arguing about it, and I think that it was just used to justify bullying me and bullying people like me at that time I agree with you 100%.

Brennan Beckwith: 38:35

And I had to kind of talk about my personal experience to give kind of a face to that conversation. I think that it's so easy to just hate on people from a 10-minute video and I don't think people realize that we're all Humans behind this. Yeah, we're all just trying our best.

Shane Ivan Nash: 39:03

Trans people we're all just trying our best. Even Calvin and Blair are humans. You know, what I mean.

Brennan Beckwith: 39:09

They're just trying their best.

Blossom C. Brown: 39:11

I love this one you just got pushed it 12 times today.

Brennan Beckwith: 39:17

And so Calvin, just I think that he was just caught up in it too.

Blossom C. Brown: 39:23

I think that he was just.

Brennan Beckwith: 39:27

They were talking about this all the time. They were in Reddit threads, they were in Discord servers Just hating themselves and hating each other and hating everybody around them, being so vindictive about this injustice that is being assigned the wrong gender at birth, and they needed somewhere to put it and I think that, like I said earlier, they put it on me, they put it on other cringy trans people that just didn't identify, that could find some joy in transness. I think that's what really, really pissed him off, because he really hated being trans.

Shane Ivan Nash: 40:07

Well, you also pissed him off in another way, and this is where I lead in time.

Brennan Beckwith: 40:11

Yeah, we should yeah.

Shane Ivan Nash: 40:13

So how did you steal his best friend?

Brennan Beckwith: 40:15

Oh my God, so funny. No, Arthu deal, I stole Stole his best friend and made a podcast with his best friend. New episode is coming soon, by the way.

Shane Ivan Nash: 40:25

Make sure to post it. We want to cross Mendoza.

Brennan Beckwith: 40:29

Because you're friends with Ryan.

Shane Ivan Nash: 40:31

now who Storm Ryan? Storm Ryan might have attacked you with Calvin right, I love him so much so.

Brennan Beckwith: 40:36

yeah, so Storm Ryan and Calvin Garra were kind of a duo. They were making very similar videos.

Shane Ivan Nash: 40:43

Like you two, just like you two, no, but there's also another duo.

Brennan Beckwith: 40:47

There's lots of duos. But yeah, they really they were good friends and they made lots and lots of videos together. They kind of egged each other on in their anger and self-hatred. They targeted after me. After the success of targeting me, they targeted lots of other cringy people and I think after my video Ryan had kind of done some self-reflection, all the self-reflection that I wanted Calvin to do. The frontal mode formed. Yeah, and he reached out to me.

Blossom C. Brown: 41:18

He reached out to me.

Brennan Beckwith: 41:19

Wow, he sent me a bunch of voice notes and I remember talking to my friends. Like I have a bunch of voice notes from Storm Ryan, Do I open these? And so I click screen record.

Blossom C. Brown: 41:32

In case they tried to fool you and more.

Shane Ivan Nash: 41:34

That's because you're like content either way.

Brennan Beckwith: 41:37

And it was really very, very sweet. You know, basically he was like I don't know how to say this, but I'm really sorry, like I can't apologize for Calvin, but like I can apologize for myself, and like you didn't deserve that. And you know, I'm just really, I'm just really sorry, like I don't know what I can do, to make it up to you. But you know, I'm trying to, I'm trying to change, I'm in a different place now and I think that that's really all I needed. That's all. I think like, oh, it's so easy to let people back in, it's so easy, and that's all I needed was for him to be like I don't know how to say this, but I'm sorry. I don't know if you need me to apologize, but I'm sorry. And then he was coming to LA. We wanted to FaceTime, we wanted to talk to each other, because I, we just had so much that we, you know so much from both sides.

Shane Ivan Nash: 42:23

Come on, I mean yeah, both You're talking to your ex best friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah Situation I think we had an episode to that of someone else's ex best friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so are we spring everybody's ex best friend Okay.

Brennan Beckwith: 42:37

So he came to, so he was in LA and I went to his I in a very strange leap of faith, I just went to his Airbnb and we wait Airbnb.

Brennan Beckwith: 42:48

Yeah, he was at an Airbnb. Yeah, it was really nice I it was a really cute Airbnb. It was like kind of like a treehouse. It was crazy. But no, it's so sweet and we, you know, I came. It was really awkward. We sat very far apart because it was COVID, so we were social distancing and and also he was very he did not want to intimidate me, he didn't want to scare me, he wanted to make me feel safe.

Brennan Beckwith: 43:14

And so and be intentional, so, and we just got to talking and I slept over that night, not like in a weird way.

Shane Ivan Nash: 43:23

It was like I don't know. I was going to say this Airbnb, you do, you, you got to pay the bills.

Brennan Beckwith: 43:27

We ordered some. We ordered some alcoholic beverages and we we sat and we and it you know we're both Pisces, we're both from Florida, we both, you know, we're in this internet transmask world and I think that we just had a lot to say to each other and we had a lot of healing to do together and it was just really, I really just immediately. We immediately connected and cared for each other deeply.

Brennan Beckwith: 43:54

And yeah, I think that too, like I wanted to in coming out. So we were friends for like six months. Maybe Ryan says nine months, I think it was more like six months before we told anybody before we told the internet, we told our friends, obviously what like Taylor.

Shane Ivan Nash: 44:10

Swift and Kelsey.

Brennan Beckwith: 44:11

Yeah, kind of Like kind of it was secret and we worked really hard to get this.

Shane Ivan Nash: 44:16

Wow Did a hard launch and everything didn't you, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, my God, did you guys do like hand photos, like touching and saying guest services, you know, I think that we did tease a little bit.

Brennan Beckwith: 44:25

But like I mean, like we traveled to Florida together in secret, like we, we did all kinds of things in secret and I remember that time it was like you know everything we posted. We were like, are you talking in the background, you know? So like people cared that much.

Shane Ivan Nash: 44:39

But um, yeah, and then the internet actually does, though.

Brennan Beckwith: 44:43

You know. So we did our like private healing together and then, like I said, both of us had done some public damage, some public hurt, and so we needed to be public about our healing again and we wanted to kind of bridge this gap and show people that like this isn't about me against you, like this isn't about Brennan against Calvin, this is about like a community conversation that needs to be had and like there's a lot of tension in the room and let's see if we can break it. And that's what Brennan was was to bring back, to bring Ryan in, and kind of show people in that space like what it looks like to to bring somebody in and to, to, to forgive or just to like move on and just like remember that like we're all trans people in the space just trying to survive and trying to deal with whatever we're dealing with, and like it is so much easier to be to care about each other and love each other and build bridges together. And, uh, yeah, so we had a lot of fun with Brennan me season one.

Blossom C. Brown: 45:48

Yeah, I love it. So, speaking of healing, I do have a question. Yeah, if Calvin were to watch this episode, Cause we're sending him the link Exactly Would you and if they were willing, would you ever sit down and have a conversation? That's such a good conversation.

Brennan Beckwith: 46:05

Good question, I would. I think that I I think that me and Calvin meeting is inevitable. I think that Ryan is still friends with Calvin, they're still friends, and uh and I a lot of people on the internet think that, like I'm not okay with that and I very much am okay with that I think Calvin needs I think Calvin needs a trans friend more than I do. I think that Calvin needs more trans friends.

Shane Ivan Nash: 46:33

Cause I don't know if most. I don't know if I can do that If somebody came out and it looks like the foundation is already there, yeah.

Brennan Beckwith: 46:40

Yeah, and I think that you know. I think that you know Ryan and Calvin were friends in childhood.

Brennan Beckwith: 46:47

Like, in like, since like you know, since, like they were 14 year olds on the internet like go, like doing uh, musically tours, like they were, they really had a connection. And so who was I to like tell Ryan to not be friends with Calvin? And again, like I said earlier, like I love Calvin, I and maybe that Stockholm syndrome, but, uh, I think, like you know, he needs, he needs a little bit of love. Like you know, um, I don't think everybody needs to love him. I think that you know he is and was an asshole and I think that he really needed to be checked and I think that he should not be on the internet. There's a lot of videos he still needs to delete, um, but I think that he's he's struggling more than I am. You think there'll be a redemption arc.

Brennan Beckwith: 47:39

I don't know if we're characters in a story that need a reduction arc.

Shane Ivan Nash: 47:43

There might be a redemption arc.

Brennan Beckwith: 47:45

I think that, I think that you know I'm proud of her for doing that.

Shane Ivan Nash: 47:49

Yeah, there's no judgment here.

Brennan Beckwith: 47:51

I think that we're just people and I think that Calvin's going to do what he needs to do and I think that apologizing to me is going to be the hardest thing he's ever done in his whole life, and I don't think he's in a place to do anything of the sort, um, but I think it's. I mean, I'm best friends with his best friend. Like, I'm going to meet him eventually, yeah, yeah.

Shane Ivan Nash: 48:15

How do you feel about that with Ryan though? Because I mean, I know you guys were friends privately for nine months, but do you feel that Ryan may possibly be taking advantage of you in that space, or do you feel?

Brennan Beckwith: 48:28

like he's really authentic. No, I think that if he was like he's playing the long game, like he really is, I looked at the metrics and it looked like Calvin kind of fell off the cliff.

Shane Ivan Nash: 48:39

So do you feel like it was a PR move or do you feel it's really genuine?

Brennan Beckwith: 48:43

I think that he was planning. I think that his apology to me was the beginning of him trying to get off the internet.

Blossom C. Brown: 48:49

I think that his.

Brennan Beckwith: 48:50

I think that you know what is the good graces of the community anyway. Like, what does that even mean at this point? But I think, yeah, a lot of people threw around this idea, you know, especially when we started Brennames, that Ryan was using me and I just think that that's like a pretty cynical way to look at it. Right, you know, I think, if you look at it that way, we were using each other, you know. But yeah, I, I was like didn't hit the button, girl.

Shane Ivan Nash: 49:21

I was like how's?

Blossom C. Brown: 49:22

that even a laughing one. That was like hey.

Brennan Beckwith: 49:26

But you know, he funded a lot of Brennames. He funded all of Brennames.

Shane Ivan Nash: 49:31

So you know the insides of it and you know and you feel it in your gut.

Brennan Beckwith: 49:34

And yeah, like I said, he was perfectly happy to never come back to the internet.

Shane Ivan Nash: 49:39

So you dragged him back then.

Brennan Beckwith: 49:41

Yeah, yes, yeah, I actually kind of did. But I get it though, too. I think that people kind of see us as not really people, and that's okay. We're characters, right, like we're little characters in their lives and you know they talk about like Ryan having a redemption arc and me and Ryan being the you know like super heroes or a sidekick or whatever, whatever. But we're just people, right, we're just friends and we just kind of wanted to. We saw ourselves in this overarching. Oh my God, I love us. That's our old logo, that's our season one.

Shane Ivan Nash: 50:19

New logos coming soon.

Brennan Beckwith: 50:21

We got new logos out and yeah, look at us, look at us, that's me. That's me pre-T, pre-top surgery or maybe I was on jail at that point, I don't know but yeah, that's me and Ryan, I love us Beautiful. And yeah, I think that you know, this time around, like with season two, I think that we've. I think with season one, we were really trying our best to like heal and show an audience how to heal and kind of like we had this like objective of you know, bringing trans masks together and showing how to support each other and love each other. You know, every, almost every episode we had another trans mask or non-binary trans person come on and share their lives and their experiences and their talents. And we were trying to be like very, you know, pc and we were kind of walking on eggshells when we first started. But after two years of a hiatus, we've done a lot more healing. We've done a lot more. We're kind of coming back healed and we're kind of coming back, you know just with a vengeance on.

Brennan Beckwith: 51:39

It feels like or just to talk our shit, you know where. I think that this season it's live. Last season it was edited, so it's gonna be a little bit edgier. It's gonna be a little bit more raw and unfiltered and we know a little riskier.

Blossom C. Brown: 51:56

We know a little something about live television, okay, yeah.

Brennan Beckwith: 51:59

But I'm excited about it. I think that you know, ryan and I have done a lot of. You know, we've just become just very close friends and have experienced so much life together and you know, two years is a long time to be playing a game to try to get within the good graces of the trans community. Yeah, but I think that you know I love Ryan so much I'm literally gonna go see him after this Nice and I think that our friendship is great.

Shane Ivan Nash: 52:32

My question is because you lied to the internet, though, when I wanted to go oh yeah, Because.

Blossom C. Brown: 52:38

Yeah, yeah, because.

Brennan Beckwith: 52:40

Cause Good lie.

Shane Ivan Nash: 52:41

If I remember correctly. Just a couple of days ago you posted first of all this live was hilarious. I love that live. I you know Sasha, who was in the video.

Brennan Beckwith: 52:53

Sasha Allen. I love Sasha. So, Sasha Allen.

Shane Ivan Nash: 52:57

Sam.

Brennan Beckwith: 52:57

Collins, ryan and I. We all jumped on a live stream because we were hanging out at my place and my room is so big that a lot can happen in that room.

Shane Ivan Nash: 53:05

I just wanna know what did it smell like in there? Fashion needs to come to the show it was stinky.

Brennan Beckwith: 53:08

We're boys Like what are you talking about?

Shane Ivan Nash: 53:10

Cause Sam comes in and he's on the live. He's like it just smells warm in here. It smells like it's, it's.

Brennan Beckwith: 53:17

You know it smelled like boys and Sasha's zins. I don't.

Shane Ivan Nash: 53:23

By the way, tell Sasha I loved his remix of that song. I love it. Sasha is wonderful.

Blossom C. Brown: 53:28

He's so great we need to have Sasha on this show. Yeah, we're gonna try to get him on, yeah.

Brennan Beckwith: 53:33

But yeah, we were just, you know, really close friends and we wanted to jump on live, but we didn't capture the lie though. What, yeah? What did I lie about?

Shane Ivan Nash: 53:43

So okay, just so everybody knows when you watch this video, all four of these trans masks looked into the camera and said that they went to Vegas, and I truly was like oh wow, and we posted, we posted.

Brennan Beckwith: 53:54

I thought they went to.

Shane Ivan Nash: 53:55

Vegas. I truly. How did you wait, weren't you next to slot machines, though? So how did you do that?

Brennan Beckwith: 54:00

So I have a really big TV in my living room and we had wanted to go to Vegas. So Sasha's leaving. Sasha is going to, is moving. I don't know if he has said publicly where he's moving. So I was.

Shane Ivan Nash: 54:14

Let's just leave it.

Brennan Beckwith: 54:15

He's moving. So we were, we wanted to go to Vegas as like a goodbye trip and we were trying to plan it and then Sam's car got broken into and the plans kind of fell apart. So I was like, why don't y'all just come over to my place and we can live stream, like you know, and no, but I saw you guys fix at the slot machine.

Blossom C. Brown: 54:38

That was really good Lies.

Shane Ivan Nash: 54:40

Like I truly was like wow, that's so cool. Four trans guys into Vegas, Like I took over like some freaking movie or something.

Brennan Beckwith: 54:49

So they came over. I had Vegas on the TV. I put a bunch of like imagery of Vegas on the TV. And so, yeah, we started taking pictures in front of it and thought, hey, let's see if we can convince people that we went to Vegas. And of course you know we just lied. We just lied and we were there the whole time. But yeah, a lot of people, some people believed us. I had friends like text me and some people were like I have your location.

Brennan Beckwith: 55:13

I know where you are. And then, yeah, and when we were on the live stream, we were just like, let's keep this rolling. And we were like, yeah, we just flew out and flew back. We just flew out for a few hours and flew back. No, we did not go to Vegas, you got me.

Shane Ivan Nash: 55:30

You got me, you got me. I gotta say, though, watching that live, especially cause, like trans guys and non-binary folks like anybody on the AFAB site, it's kind of a lone wolf world out there a lot.

Brennan Beckwith: 55:41

It's rough, yeah, it's hard. We're so competitive.

Shane Ivan Nash: 55:45

I hate it, we're so competitive.

Brennan Beckwith: 55:46

You know what I think it is. See it's everywhere Not to talk to you, talk my shit about trans men, but we're so competitive and we're so, we're so petty, we're petty, let it cut. We're competitive we're petty. But I think that that is just a result of being raised among the gossip and pettiness of women and femininity and also that like toxic competitive nature of masculinity, kind of all converged into like these little stinky little monsters.

Brennan Beckwith: 56:22

But I think that that, you know, it's what makes us uniquely us, but that's what Brennan Meese is all about. That's what me and Ryan getting back together was all about was just, you know, let's look around and see ourselves and each other in a much more positive light than Calvin Garrah ever could have, and you know, stop hating, you know.

Shane Ivan Nash: 56:45

It's so beautiful. I was cause I also mod for Brennan on his page and I was just sitting there and just kind of observing it. It's like a trans guy, like all of this stuff did not exist even 10 years ago.

Brennan Beckwith: 56:59

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shane Ivan Nash: 57:00

You know like I was. I was with Ryan Cassata last night for the next ceremony and, like Ryan and I, we were joking back and forth and like dude, there's so many trans guys now. Do you remember when it was just you and I, yeah, being public and out and I was like dude and I couldn't even get anywhere? You're the only one getting on the radar and it's just so beautiful to see the younger generation because, like a lot of the work that we did, like it's showing up in you guys having your friendship and showing up even though you lied about going to Vegas, I still thought the stream was really cute and sweet.

Shane Ivan Nash: 57:31

What. And it brought healing, I think, to all of us Cause like even to see Sasha in a space with you, cause Sasha's pretty binary too. You know You're a non-binary. It's again. It's that like, crossover of like, again our liberation is tied and I'm good at it.

Brennan Beckwith: 57:45

I'm just bringing it back to that and also, like it's just the authenticity right, like I think that you know, one thing that people will just not see, and never see and never be able to see, is that we're developing these relationships, not as like oh, sam has this many followers and Sasha has this many followers and we're going to get together because, because we're all you know, trying to build a following Like it comes from, like an authentic like yeah, we do relate to each other, cause we're all influencers and our own right and we love each other for it, and like we love each other's art and we love each other's content, but it came from this like more, like authentic growth of friendship, like that's why Ryan and I had to wait nine months, six months, whatever to really build an authentic, genuine friendship, outside of what the internet would think about it, knowing that the internet would have a lot to think about it.

Brennan Beckwith: 58:44

And so and we wanted to come from a very authentic place and I think that I'm in a place in my content creation career where I have total control of what I do. I stream. I stream Mondays, wednesdays, fridays Brennames is coming out every Wednesday, starting this Wednesday, and I really have more control over my content than ever before. And I just want it to be like come from a very genuine, authentic place and if that's, you know, if that becomes a more edgy Brennan or a more angry Brennan, or a Brennan that's not walking on eggshells anymore to please a particular audience or a particular narrative, like I think that you know, I just have to ride that wave and see what happens from it.

Shane Ivan Nash: 59:32

Keep doing that, keep doing that we love to see it.

Blossom C. Brown: 59:35

We love to see around here.

Shane Ivan Nash: 59:37

Yeah, because truly like as an older trans guy looking at what y'all are doing and being authentic, and even just as a millennial in general, like before you all learned how to speak, before you all started to get into activism, and it was just the millennials causing shit, cause you know, even Gen Xers I know they get the, we didn't. They're still kind of boomer energy. Listen, I can go on forever. But like millennials were really the first generation to put a stop to stuff, but we still didn't have the kind of balls that you all have.

Shane Ivan Nash: 1:00:08

Well, I think that, yeah, the authenticity that you because we still were in this weird world in the way that the world worked at that time, that we had to kind of play Kate still to the systems at B. But when Gen Z came along like as a millennial, I was like thank God, and I it feels like you're like scrappy do or something to the Scooby Doo, like you, just like you do not take shit and you're authentic.

Brennan Beckwith: 1:00:32

Well, we're running out of time, it's beautiful Right. Oh, we can extend, we can extend. I think that no, I'm not saying that we're running out of time here, I'm saying that Gen Z is running out of time. Yeah, I think that we're inheriting a dying earth and I think that our government and our society has, you know, allowed us to look into the future and see nothing, you know, and see school shootings, the whole like just destroying the environment.

Brennan Beckwith: 1:01:03

You know anti-trans anti, you know anti-black anti you know, anti-minority right, that ideology has just shown us that, like our government doesn't care about us, our society doesn't care about us. And we are looking at our future and we're like we probably will not make it to the ages, we will probably be the first generation that it does not get older than their parents did, and so we're like, okay, fuck it, like fuck you and fuck it. I didn't even realize that.

Brennan Beckwith: 1:01:40

Like you don't give a shit about our lives Like, so we're not gonna give a shit about the corporations that we serve. We are not gonna give a shit about the advertising that you have fed to us since birth. Like, and we can see through it like so easily because we have been propagandized since birth and so that's why we respond so much to genuine genuineness and authenticity. Because, like, that's all we have left is like is something real and so we can just like, we can just see through fakeness really easily.

Brennan Beckwith: 1:02:12

We can see through advertisement really easily.

Shane Ivan Nash: 1:02:15

It's changed social media to the point where I actually feel comfortable, because I've been an activist in Boston I've told for years and years she's told me that I need to get it on camera. I need to do that, but I hated all the bullshit that goes with it.

Brennan Beckwith: 1:02:29

All the fake shit. It's so much bullshit yeah.

Shane Ivan Nash: 1:02:31

And because of the way that Gen Z, like especially TikTok and the combinations of things that happened, like y'all really have changed it and I just I really appreciate you coming here today, Brennan, and like being real, and just how can we support you too, like, what's your Instagram handle? What's all of that stuff?

Brennan Beckwith: 1:02:48

So I'm at Brennan Beckwith everywhere B-R-E-N-N-E-N, B-E-C-K-W-I-T-H is my handle everywhere. I'm popping on TikTok. I make lots of content about queer culture, queer pop culture, pop culture in general, and I stream. I stream on my YouTube channel, youtubecom, so that's my Instagram. If you scroll down a little bit, you can see my top surgery. Yeah, but yeah, I think that.

Shane Ivan Nash: 1:03:21

Lost himself on my earlier.

Brennan Beckwith: 1:03:23

I did. I was shocked and then, yeah, like I said, brennan is coming back. I'm streaming three times a week. It is exhausting to do that, but it is so fun.

Brennan Beckwith: 1:03:33

I'm coming back with a vengeance. I'm coming back with, you know, just this I've been so afraid so long to say the right things and do the right things and be a good person on the internet, but I think what I've found is that if people think I'm a bad person, they're gonna think I'm a bad person no matter how hard I try. And I think that now I'm kind of coming back with just like a very like as a, you know, very confident and very self-assured version of myself and I'm really excited to do that live, to do it live and to create lots more content and kind of put myself out onto the internet in a more authentic and fun and less guarded way. And yeah, yeah, and I'm Brandon Beck with everywhere, and Ryan is Storm Ryan everywhere, and Brennames is coming back. So check out Brennames. It's on my YouTube channel, youtubecom Slash Brennabck with, and I think that's all my stuff.

Shane Ivan Nash: 1:04:41

And there you have everyone. So folks make sure to follow Brennan, support Brennames, cause you know again Transmask. I'm trying to put this new thing in here where we're not competing together. I'm so over this game Like there's no need for it. You know, I worked with Ryan Casada yesterday and we did this great thing for Nex's visual and it's actually recorded too. So if you all want to take a look at that, I just want to be intentional about bringing up Nex in these next couple of not to be cliche episodes, because it's a really important topic. And, brennan, I think that who you are and how you represent on the internet, I'm not sure if you're even fully aware of the impact that you have. Oh, I'm aware.

Shane Ivan Nash: 1:05:23

I love it. I know that you have that impact on community and the way that you do, because, I will tell you this, there was a period of time in like, like 2015, like it seems like the Calvin Garre era I didn't quite know of it, but I heard it through the community grapevine and people were really pushing out non-binary folks, and I think that you've probably really channeled that narrative to show that we're all human at the end of the day.

Brennan Beckwith: 1:05:47

So thank you for doing that work. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much and thank you for having me.

Shane Ivan Nash: 1:05:51

Yeah, it's been a pleasure, man, and next time maybe we'll play some Fortnite. Yeah, come back as the end.

Brennan Beckwith: 1:05:56

Come back as the end you know Sasha's trying to get me to do Fortnite too. I, Every transplant in my life is trying to get me to do Fortnite. I will repeat I need you to listen to Sasha. I can't believe it.

Shane Ivan Nash: 1:06:04

I need you to listen. By the way, I also need Sasha's EP out. Okay, so Shout out to Sasha.

Brennan Beckwith: 1:06:11

We love you so much. I'm gonna miss him so much.

Shane Ivan Nash: 1:06:13

Folks, that's it. This is the show. That's what it is. Make sure to hit that like and subscribe button Down below. Follow all the links. Follow Brennan, follow Blossom, follow myself Blossoms. Brown, Blossoms Brown and have yourself a wonderful day. And if you didn't learn anything today, then hit replay and watch it again and take a little time to enjoy the Transparency podcast show.

Blossom C. Brown: 1:06:33

Yes, have a good one. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.