Healing Wounds and Building Bridges in Trans Community

Imagine discovering a kindred spirit who mirrors your trials and triumphs. 

Shane Ivan Nash and Blossom C. Brown's candid conversation with Brennan Beckwith began with an overnight stay that began a transformative bond. 

We unravel the threads of privacy, public perception, and the cautious dance of going public with our friendship, all while sparking necessary dialogue and considering the possibility of healing old wounds with community members.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

And also he was very. He did not want to intimidate me, he didn't want to scare me, he wanted to make me feel safe and so and be intentional, so and we just got to talking and I slept over that night, not like in a weird way, I don't know, I was gonna say it's Airbnb.

Speaker 2: 0:18

You do, you, you?

Speaker 1: 0:19

gotta pay the bills. We ordered some alcoholic beverages and we sat and we and it you know we're both Pisces, we're both from Florida, we both, you know, we're in this internet transmask world and I think that we just had a lot to say to each other and we had a lot of healing to do together and it was just really, I really just immediately. We immediately connected and cared for each other deeply and yeah, I think that too, like I wanted to and coming out. So we were friends for like six months. Maybe Ryan says nine months.

Speaker 1: 0:57

I think it was more like six months before we told anybody, before we told the internet, we told our friends, obviously Like.

Speaker 2: 1:02

Taylor Swift and Kelsey, yeah, kind of Like, kind of.

Speaker 1: 1:06

It was. We worked really hard to get this Wow.

Speaker 2: 1:09

Did a hard launch and everything didn't you.

Speaker 1: 1:11

Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, my God, did you guys do?

Speaker 2: 1:13

like hand photos, like touching and saying guess who's hand this is?

Speaker 1: 1:15

You know I think that we did tease a little bit, but like I mean, like we traveled to Florida together in secret, like we, we did all kinds of things in secret and I remember that time it was like you know everything we posted. We were like, are you talking in the background, you know?

Speaker 2: 1:30

so like people cared that much, but yeah and then we the internet actually does, though you know Creepy and see that.

Speaker 1: 1:37

So we did our like private healing together and then, like I said, both of us had done some public damage, some public hurt, and so we needed to be public about our healing again and we wanted to kind of bridge this gap and show people that like this isn't about me against you, like this isn't about Brennan against Calvin, this is about like a community conversation that needs to be had and like there's a lot of tension in the room and let's see if we can break it. And that's what Brennan means was was to bring back, to bring Ryan in, and kind of show people in that space like what it looks like to to bring somebody in and to to forgive or just to like move on and just like remember that like we're all trans people in this space, just trying to survive and trying to deal with whatever we're dealing with, and like it is so much easier to be to care about each other and love each other and build bridges together. And yeah, so we had a lot of fun with Brennan me season one.

Speaker 3: 2:40

Yeah, I love it. So, speaking of healing, I do have a question. Yeah, if Calvin were to watch this episode.

Speaker 2: 2:49

Cause we're sending him the link Exactly.

Speaker 3: 2:52

Would you, and if they were willing, would you ever sit down and have a conversation with them?

Speaker 1: 2:57

That's such a good conversation, a good question. I would. I think that I. I think that me and Calvin meeting is inevitable. I think that Ryan is still friends with Calvin they're still friends and and I a lot of people on the internet think that like I'm not okay with that and I very much. I'm okay with that. I think Calvin, that's super mature. I think Calvin needs a trans friend more than I do. I think that Calvin needs more trans friends.

Speaker 2: 3:26

I don't know if most.

Speaker 3: 3:28

I don't know that if somebody came out and it looks like the foundation is already there.

Speaker 1: 3:32

Yeah, yeah, and I think that you know.

Speaker 1: 3:34

I think that you know, Ryan and Calvin were friends in Childhood like in, since like you know, since, like they were 14 year olds on the internet like go, like doing Musically tours, like they were, they really had a connection. And so who was I to like tell Ryan to not be friends with Calvin? And again, like I said earlier, like I love Calvin I and maybe that Stockholm syndrome, but I Need, he needs, a little bit of love. Like you know, I don't think everybody needs to love him. I think that you know he is and was an asshole and I think that he Really needed to be checked and I think that he should not be on the internet. There's a lot of videos he still needs to delete, but I think that he's he's struggling more than I am.

Speaker 2: 4:29

You think there'll be a redemption arc.

Speaker 1: 4:31

I don't know if we're characters white story that need a reduction are there might be a redemption. That, I think, I think that you know, I'm proud of her for doing that actually.

Speaker 2: 4:42

Oh yeah, that's me here.

Speaker 1: 4:43

Yeah, I know that we're just people and I think that Calvin's gonna do what he needs to do and I think that apologizing to me is gonna be the hardest thing he's ever done in his whole life, and I don't think he's in a place to do anything of the sort, but I think it's I mean, I'm best friends with his best friend like I'm gonna meet him eventually yeah and uh.

Speaker 2: 5:07

How do you feel about? I know Ryan though, because I mean I know you guys were friends privately for nine months, but do you feel that Ryan May possibly be taking advantage of you in that space, or do you feel?

Speaker 1: 5:21

like no, no, I think that if he was like it, he's playing the long game.

Speaker 2: 5:27

Like I look at the metrics and it looked like Calvin kind of fell off the cliff. So do you feel like it was a PR move or do you feel it's really?

Speaker 1: 5:35

I think that. I think that he was planning. I think that his apology to me was the beginning of him trying to get off the internet.

Speaker 2: 5:41

I think that his.

Speaker 1: 5:43

I think that you know what is the good graces of the community anyway. Like, what does that even mean at this point? But yeah, I think, yeah, that a lot of people threw around this idea, you know, especially when we started, brenna means that Ryan was using me, and I just think that that's like a pretty Cynical way to look at it. Right, you know, I think, if you look at it that way, we were using each other, you know. But yeah, but you know, he funded a lot of Branemies.

Speaker 2: 6:23

So you know the insides of it and you know and you feel it in your gut.

Speaker 1: 6:27

And yeah, like I said, he was perfectly happy to never come back to the internet. Yeah, yeah, I actually kind of did. But I get it though, too. I think that People kind of see us as not really people, and that's okay. We're characters, right, like we're little characters in their lives and you know, they talk about like Ryan having a redemption arc and me and Ryan being the, you know, like super heroes or a sidekick or whatever, whatever. But we're just people, right. We're just friends and we just kind of wanted to. We saw ourselves in this Over our king. Oh, my god, I love us. That's our old logo, that's our old that's our season one.

Speaker 2: 7:13

We got.

Speaker 1: 7:16

And yeah, look at us, look at us, that's me. That's me pre-t, pre-top surgery or maybe I was on jail at that point, I don't know but yeah, that's me and Ryan, I love us beautiful and yeah, I think that you know this. This time around, like with season two, I think that we've. I think with season one, we were really trying our best to like heal and show an audience how to heal and kind of like we had this like objective of you know, bringing trans masks together and showing how to support each other and love each other. You know, every, almost every episode we had another trans mask or non-binary trans person come on and share their lives and their experiences and their talents. And we we were trying to be like very, you know, pc and we were kind of walking on eggshells when we first started. But after two years of a hiatus, we've done a lot more healing, we've done a lot more We've done we're kind of coming back healed and we're kind of coming back, you know just with a vengeance on.

Speaker 1: 8:31

It feels like or just to talk our shit, you know where. I think that this season it's live. Last season it was edited, so it's going to be a little bit edgier. It's going to be a little bit more raw and unfiltered and a little riskier.

Speaker 3: 8:48

We know a little something about live television okay.

Speaker 1: 8:51

Yeah, but I'm excited about it. I think that you know, ryan and I have done a lot of. You know, we just become just very close friends and have experienced so much life together and you know two years is a long time to be playing a game to try to get within the good graces of the trans community. But I think that you know I love Ryan so much I'm literally gonna go see him after this Nice and I think that our friendship is great.

Speaker 2: 9:24

My question is because you lied to the internet, though, and I wanted to oh yeah, because.

Speaker 3: 9:29

Yeah, yeah, because um Good lie you gotta catch us all the lie, If I remember correctly just a couple of days ago, you posted first of all, this live was hilarious.

Speaker 2: 9:42

I love that live. I you know Sasha, who was in the video Sasha.

Speaker 1: 9:46

Allen. I love Sasha. Sasha Allen, sam Collins, yeah, okay, ryan and I, we all jumped on a live stream because we were hanging out at my place and my room is so big that a lot can happen in that room, and I just don't know what it is.

Speaker 2: 9:59

Fashion needs to come to the show.

Speaker 1: 10:00

It was stinky. We're boys Like what are you talking about? Cause Sam comes in.

Speaker 2: 10:04

And he's on the live. He's like it just smells warm in here.

Speaker 1: 10:08

It's not like it's. You know, it smelled like boys and Sasha's zins. I don't.

Speaker 2: 10:16

By the way, tell Sasha I loved his remix of that song.

Speaker 3: 10:19

I love it. Sasha is wonderful. We need to have Sasha on this show. Yeah, for real. Yeah, try to get him on.

Speaker 1: 10:24

Yeah, but yeah, we we're just, you know, really close friends and we wanted to jump on live, but we didn't capture the lie though what, yeah? What did I lie about?

Speaker 2: 10:36

So okay, just so everybody knows when you watch this video, all four of these trans masks looked into the camera and said that they went to Vegas, and I truly was like oh, wow, and we posted, we posted.

Speaker 1: 10:47

I thought they went to Vegas.

Speaker 2: 10:48

I truly. How did you wait? Were you next to slot machines, though? So?

Speaker 1: 10:52

how did you do that? So I have a really big TV in my living room and we had wanted to go to Vegas. So Sasha's leaving oh, sasha is going to, is moving.

Speaker 2: 11:03

Oh.

Speaker 1: 11:04

And I don't know if he has said publicly where he's moving, so I will.

Speaker 2: 11:07

Let's just leave it.

Speaker 1: 11:08

He's moving. So we were, we wanted to go to Vegas as like a goodbye trip, and we were trying to plan it and then Sam's car got broken into, oh my God, and the plans kind of fell apart. So I was like why don't y'all just come over to my place and we can live stream, like you know? And no, but I saw you guys next to the slot machine.

Speaker 2: 11:31

I was really good at lies Like I truly was like wow, that's so cool For trans guys. We need to.

Speaker 1: 11:37

Vegas they came to.

Speaker 2: 11:38

I took over like some freaking movie or something.

Speaker 1: 11:40

They, they. So they came over. I had Vegas on the on the TV. I put a bunch of like imagery of Vegas on the TV and so, yeah, we started taking pictures in front of it and thought, hey, let's see if we can convince people.

Speaker 1: 11:53

So we went to Vegas, you totally had me and of course, you know we just lied. We just lied and we were there the whole time. But, yeah, a lot of people, some people, believed us. I had friends like text me and some people were like I have your location, I know where you are. And then, yeah, and when we were on the live stream, we were just like let's keep this rolling. And we were like, yeah, we just flew out and flew back. We just flew out for a few hours and flew back. No, we did not go to Vegas, you got me, you got me, you got me.

Speaker 2: 12:24

I gotta say, though, watching that live especially cause, like trans guys and non-binary folks, like anybody on the AFAB site, it's kind of a lone wolf world out there, a lot it's rough.

Speaker 1: 12:34

Yeah, it's hard, we're so competitive.

Speaker 2: 12:37

I hate it. We're so competitive. You know what I think it is See it's everywhere.

Speaker 1: 12:42

Not to talk to you, talk my shit about trans men, but we're so competitive and we're so Talking shit. We're so petty. We're petty, Let it cook. We're competitive. We're petty, but I think that that is just a result of being raised among the gossip and pettiness of women and femininity and also that like toxic competitive nature of masculinity kind of all converged into like these little stinky little monsters.

Speaker 1: 13:14

But I think that that, you know, it's what makes us uniquely, us and I. But that's what Brenna Mises is all about. That's what me and Ryan getting back together was all about was just, you know, let's look around and see ourselves in each other in a much more positive light than Calvin Garrah ever could have. And you know, stop hating.