Reconciling Roots, Trans Masc Realities, and the Quest for Belonging

Navigating the intricate paths of identity and belonging can often feel like a solitary journey through uncharted territory. 

Our latest clip episode features an enlightening conversation with complex ancestries and gender identities. This discussion highlights the pain of feeling out of place and celebrates the courage required to embrace one's truth in a world that frequently demands conformity.

Kitcaster Podcast Agency
Did you know that podcasts are a great way to grow your personal and business brand voice?

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I am a part of a group that's left out. You know I'm from Mississippi. There's Indian reservations down there but trying to talk about that part of my ancestry is so challenging because, like you said, if you don't look a certain way, if I don't look indigenous in a way that is satisfiable, I'm nothing. And I experienced that last night. Experienced that last night. It was really hard to get up there and to talk about part of my ancestry that I've turned a blind eye to when moving to California, because I didn't feel like I would fit in there. And you know, going home and crying and shedding tears about it, it was just like it was. So it woke me up to my truth in such a way, and so I'm really glad that you brought that up because it is really important because we're trying to figure out where we fit in these spaces and because of colorism and all of the other isms that are put into place, we just can't always do that.

Speaker 2: 0:56

I just want to say you know, hearing both of your stories and knowing Leigh's story, because I can relate to Leigh's story and especially something that Leigh doesn't have to deal with is I look like an 80s villain. I look like every white supremacist that's out there creating all the issues. I mean, I know what I look like and I'm like damn it complete with police glasses right you know you're about to get one no, I know.

Speaker 2: 1:19

I know and I'm aware of this and it's this weird thing that, like I grew up like being this outcast pretty much my entire life, especially being as big as I was I mean, it was bigger than the boys so I was bullied by the boys and the girls and you know, I didn't have I was very lone wolf in that situation and Leif, from what I've learned and know about him and had a few conversations, it seems like that's kind of been the same thing and it seems to be the trend with a lot of trans masc individuals, because there's like this complex layer of like misogyny, these expectations put on you that are already secondary on earth.

Speaker 2: 2:09

I mean women, we have to admit, are genuinely always treated less than men and that is ingrained into you as a child, to you simultaneously, while not having any support or access with the privileges that allegedly come with a cis person, but then having the ideology that you have all that access just because you pass it sucks a lot of the time. Because I find myself in these spaces where it's like, like you said, folks who just are looking for that pocket, to misunderstand you, or I call it looking for your neck. You know they're always looking for and that's you, or I call it looking for your neck. They're always looking for and that's why I have to be very careful when I'm in community, when I'm in space. But at the same time, as a white individual, I'm still highly appreciative of my community calling me out and calling me in in the ways that I have, because in the 15 years of activism, who I was then? I didn't have the collegiate language to know where I was or what I was saying.

Speaker 2: 3:08

And I don't even know if Laith necessarily I mean he may now, but when he was saying it in that moment I don't think he had the language because there's been no investment in trans mask folks Like that trickle down like that folks don't seem to understand is if women are treated like shit, how do you think trans mask guys are treated Because that Reaganomics of that oppression. We're not a sexual commodity even so, we are just pure violence only and people hate women. So it's almost like an excuse to hurt women and trans mask folks and non-binary folks or really anybody. That's AFAB and it's this excuse for society to just attack these folks.

Speaker 2: 3:50

Because I relate daily to lesbians, still as a trans masc, because they're afraid to go to the bathroom. When they go to the bathroom they're getting attacked just because they're being perceived as trans masculine and they get jumped. And that's what happened in this whole NX situation. I mean I know NX was non-binary but if I was trans today and young and 16 and still finding myself, I probably would be identifying as non-binary first because it'd be a little safer and I would probably lean into my masculinity later as I was older and a lot of trans guys do that. They come out as non-binary first and some folks stay non-binary, it's whatever.

Speaker 2: 4:30

But I see even myself in that next situation because from a very early age the bathroom was always a problem because I was getting bullied by both the girls and the boys, so I just held it and I didn't go at school. And what I'm hearing in your stories and I hear in Leigh's story and my story, and just really both sides of it, it's like two sides to the same coin of the same feeling, of the same pain, and I feel like we all just need to acknowledge that and give that space for each other, like it's not an oppression.

Speaker 3: 5:01

Olympics. Yeah, that's why I I abhor any kind of infighting within the community because it only provides them with divide and conquer. Because if we're not a united front and none of us should have to be perfect to be able to be supported so if I say something out of line, it doesn't mean that you can just condemn everything good that I've done for the community, Like that doesn't make any sense. And guess who doesn't think like that? Far-right Republicans, no, they have idiots say the wrong thing all the time and they stand right behind them and they win it every time, Fucking us Like can we cut the shit? Stop the infighting.

Speaker 2: 5:38

I tell this to Blossom all the time, like one of the biggest problems, I think, with our community is this idea that we have to be morally perfect in order for us to all get behind that one person None of us are, and no one can beat this this.