Identity Challenges and Breaking Free from Fear

In this clip episode, we offer heartfelt insights for trans and non-binary content creators, discussing the challenges they face in navigating online spaces filled with both support and hostility. 

Through personal stories and reflections, we explore the complexities of identity, community dynamics, and the transformative power of authenticity.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

What advice would you give to any trans or non-binary person that's coming up in content creating and, as a YouTuber, like what would you, based on your experience?

Speaker 2: 0:10

Well, like me, like, just put stuff out there, like, just get stuff out there. You know, if you, there's a lot of people talking about creating and talking about putting stuff into the world and they have lots of ideas, but you really just got to start putting stuff into the world, and they have lots of ideas, but you really just got to start putting stuff out. Like, um, and this is something that I, you know, over years and years of content creation, have struggled with myself Um, just going from idea to a product, right, um, and I think you just have to do it. You just have to start doing it. You can't worry too much about everything else. You just have to like, if you have an idea for a video or for something to talk about, like, just start talking about it and keep putting stuff out into the world and don't worry too much about the you know views and numbers and comments and stuff like that, just keep putting it out there. You know Completely.

Speaker 3: 1:12

Yeah, and you know you kind of talk about your former self. You know that Calvin Guerra situation from my research that I've done and just spoken with you personally. We booed all types of people. We definitely where is that? It's right here? I remember where that is Boo. Yeah, we booed bullies around here, but you know, I know that you said that it changed you.

Speaker 2: 1:37

Oh yeah, of course I mean you know um Calvin Guerra. He was just so mean. He was just so mean I was vulnerable, right, like I really put all myself out onto the internet and I was not. I was not getting the views or the following that Calvin had. Like I maybe had 500 subscribers and I'm telling you that's all from my my famous Tyler Oakley Tumblr blog, like um, and the video he reacted to at the time. That he reacted to it was um, what was it called?

Speaker 3: 2:13

It had like 280 videos.

Speaker 2: 2:15

It maybe had like yeah, maybe like 200 views or something. So you know, sometimes I feel like he saw me out, but I think that, yeah, when he created that video, it really sent a lot of attention my way that I just did not know how to handle. I was in college, I was, you know, I was just like studying theater, I was a resident assistant. Me too, man. When I was a resident assistant, that was a wild time in my life. I did what?

Speaker 3: 2:51

happened.

Speaker 2: 2:52

Oh man.

Speaker 3: 2:52

I mean like just being a resident assistant.

Speaker 2: 2:54

Oh, I found everything. I was a cool RA, though I was one of those like, um you know, hear no evil, see no evil kind of RA.

Speaker 1: 3:05

I had it on Monday night. I'll never forget Monday nights in the summer and I had to go to summer school cause I was like running out of money and I was running out of financial aid. I was like, oh my God, it was one of the most chillest jobs I ever had.

Speaker 2: 3:19

Yeah, it was a wild job and you know they always put the queer people on my floor or on my hallway and the theater kids. So I had a wild time, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 3:31

There was a lot of pot on that floor. I'm sorry.

Speaker 2: 3:38

There was so much shit, um and uh, but I loved that job, but uh, yeah, so I was. Just I was just not prepared for the level of um, hate and like harassment that I was experiencing. And then there was also like an element of that hate and harassment coming from trans men and trans masc people? Yeah, because, uh, calvin Garrow's trans and his whole point about me was that I was, you know, misrepresenting the trans masc experience.

Speaker 2: 4:09

I was a trans trender I was only being trans for the trend of it all and I think that he projected a lot of his issues onto me Like he didn't know me right.

Speaker 1: 4:20

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 4:21

But I think that I just garnered a very visceral angry reaction in him and I think all of his fans were also like very angry young trans boys.

Speaker 3: 4:39

And they needed somewhere to put it all. And so, or uh, what is it? Uh, andrew tate, yeah, I mean. Yeah, I mean, that's what it kind of looks. Who was it?

Speaker 2: 4:46

um, girl, he's canceled andrew tate, very, very famous misogynist.

Speaker 3: 4:51

Yeah, um, yeah, he's in jail now, isn't he?

Speaker 2: 4:53

I don't know. I hope he's still in jail, but uh yeah I like a trans entertainer yeah, um, I suppose, but I think that you know I think, they were just very, very angry.

Speaker 2: 5:06

They were just very angry. I think calvin I don't know over I mean I'm 25 now. I think calvin was like 70. He was younger than me when he made that video about me, and so I have a lot of I don't know empathy for him or like I don't know. Sometimes I say that you know, I love that kid, I love that kid. I think that, you know, he's got a lot of things in his head that I just don't have, and I think that he's got a lot more demons than I ever have. And that's what I see with these folks.

Speaker 3: 5:42

Yeah, they're white and buck and stuff. Yeah, I feel like they are maybe in their transition. The people around them treated them I love you, ross, it's an evil laugh. It's an evil laugh. I feel like and this is how I'm trying to unpack it, to understand how they got to that point it's like maybe in their transition, their environment that they transitioned in was so toxic that it created a scenario for them where it's like, well, I had to get surgery, I had to get this, I had to get that to barely be considered anything. How dare you not get surgery?

Speaker 2: 6:14

how dare you be happy in a body?

Speaker 3: 6:15

that part exactly, and it's almost like there's like a jealousy thing it is it's.

Speaker 2: 6:20

I think it's jealousy. I think that he saw himself in me and I think that, um, I think that he was, yeah, angry that I was. I figured out a different way.

Speaker 2: 6:35

Yeah, I figured out a different way to deal with my dysphoria and to do. I think that's what it was. Even the title of the video he reacted to was my gender dysphoria and how I deal with it. And, um, it was just not the way that he reacted to was my gender dysphoria and how I deal with it, and it was just not the way that he wanted to.

Speaker 3: 6:50

he wanted to Because he was looking for cis male validation at the end of the day.

Speaker 2: 6:53

Yeah, I don't know if he was looking for cis. I think he was just looking for validation in general. I suppose I think that he I think that he was really angry and I think that being angry at that time what 20? Maybe he did it in 2018. 2016 to 2018 was a very popular time to hate on the cringe, hate on the, the blue hair, the pink hair yeah, it was a trend, uh, non-binaries, um, it was very, very popular.

Speaker 2: 7:20

And so his form of anger and transmedicalism and, uh, his you know ideologies, if you could call them that. I think he was just angry, yelling at people. I don't think he really knew what the. I think he used transmedicalism as an ideology to, like, justify his anger and justify his projection, but I think that that was just very popular at the time as well, like that video he made about me got you know, I mean in the end, like two million views, which is a lot of money for a 17 year old, yeah.