Navigating Professional and Personal Life During Gender Transition

Carrie shares her deeply personal gender transition journey, revealing how her authenticity created ripple effects through her personal and professional relationships. She offers candid insights into navigating coming out during COVID, workplace acceptance, and finding unexpected joy.

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Chapters

• 0:00 When We Transition, Others Do Too
• 0:55 Coming Out During COVID
• 2:10 Corporate DEI vs Reality
• 5:23 First Meeting as Michelle
• 6:27 Safety and Acceptance in Public Spaces
• 8:06 Therapy and Finding Happiness

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

The thing that we don't talk about too much as a community is that when we transition, those around us also transition, and so it took me 54 years to come to terms, and so it'll take other people a while as well, and I try to remember that.

Speaker 2: 0:13

you know that it wasn't I mean, this was coming Right and they could tell. And you know I could. You know my voice was kind of changing because I was working with that. You know, I think one time there was mascara still left in my eyes one time. Telltale signs, and so I, just from that end, I got to remember that this is a big change. I've lost some friends, you know, and that's okay. They just have to recognize that. You know, this is me.

Speaker 1: 0:50

Right, how was it coming out at work?

Speaker 2: 0:55

This is an ongoing thing and Shelby knows a little bit about it.

Speaker 3: 0:59

Yeah, how did you come out at work during COVID? That's the headline for you.

Speaker 2: 1:05

Well, yeah, it happened the day that I was Michelle and, you know, the day that I was supposed to come out, I was going to meet my management and I figured the time was right because I was up for a job that would have been less client-facing or, you know, chief operations officer or whatever. But the day that I went was the day that, basically, the country shut down and our global HR director had to fly back to London and she goes listen, I can't be with you, I'm out of here, okay, because I won't be able to get back. So I continued and, um, it's been a bit of a balancing act. Um, and shelby, you don't know. You know it has been kind of coming out, you know, because we are getting ready to go back to the office and yeah, so.

Speaker 3: 1:59

so before we go back, before you go back to the office and you just do Zoom meeting, right? Yeah, do you tell us about that funny story that you told me?

Speaker 2: 2:11

So I would just, you know, I would maybe wipe my lipstick off. I make myself, you know.

Speaker 3: 2:17

You don't show videos, right.

Speaker 2: 2:19

Yes, and I go really close, you know, and I wear darker glasses and it'd be darker in the room and I didn't really change my voice, thinking back on it, but we didn't. The irony was we didn't have as many Zoom calls, I think if you have a client that couldn't do it as well. And. But there had been moments. You know where I laugh about this. But there had been moments. You know where I laugh about this. One time I was presenting and it was more of a conference call. My slides were up on Zoom and I tend to walk around a bit when I present and I kept asking about what's this clicking sound going on, right, and I'm like all right, and then after meeting I'm walking around, I go oh wait, a minute, that's my heels, you know.

Speaker 2: 3:07

I love it. So they all thought there was something wrong. So they're all checking her. You know what's going on, because I was talking and presenting and you know I use my hands to walk around, but it has been a bit of a, you know. I mean I don't think it's ever going to be the big surprise. You know there's some people that haven't. I have come out with some coworkers. One didn't really take it very well, but most of them have. You know we are getting ready for, unfortunately, a big, massive downsizing and I don't know how I'm going to work my way through it. You know I didn't want to?

Speaker 1: 3:52

Is the company supportive overall? Do they have insurance plans?

Speaker 2: 3:58

Yeah, well, yeah, I'm not going to tell you much where I'm at or what group. Sure, they talk a lot about it. You know, our clients talk about diversity, right, dei DEI, yeah, but to put it in action is a whole different deal. Totally Right, they'll do their. I mean, I'm going to be blunt you know they'll do their little dinners and you know they'll bring out the former president of the company, who's gay, and they'll bring them out. You know they pay him. He's retired and they'll pay him.

Speaker 2: 4:30

You know, and so it's a little bit of a. You know, no troop out. You know, and I'd gone to those before. I had, um, yeah, and I go, okay, I know this I'm, you know I'm not, you know I'm not naive, and so, you know, you just talk your way through it. I think that the decision needs to be made. I mean, you know I, you know myself and others, you know salaries of. You know somebody that you used to play golf with walk around the clubhouse, right, you know showers and everything, and all of a sudden like, oh, wait a minute, you know what happened, and so yeah, so what do you anticipate when you go back to the office?

Speaker 1: 5:23

Sounds like that will be soon. I did have my first meeting. Go back to the office.

Speaker 2: 5:24

Sounds like that will be soon. I did have my first meeting. I finally was able to. I had some Zoom calls with my management and the board. Last Tuesday I got a call and I learned to meet with me in the morning and I kind of go okay, this could go two ways, but it went well.

Speaker 2: 5:48

It was a nice discussion. We'll see. I you know, I think, like I said, so much has changed from a corporate standpoint, the stuff that's going on. You know in Ukraine. You know we basically had to walk away from our you know our investments in, you know in Russia, Wow, and had to shut those things down and that's a significant amount, right and um, just like everybody else. So well, you know it's a. I guess you could say this michelle, I'm sorry, um, it's in process got you okay, yeah.

Speaker 3: 6:21

so now, um, on your facebook I'm gonna switch gear to to you more back to your personal life. So on your Facebook I see you go out a lot like with different girls and clubs. So how's Michigan when you go out, do you feel safe? And how about bathroom or pronouns, what do they? Are they understanding you.

Speaker 2: 6:49

There are some places that are kind of hard. Nobody's ever yelled at me when I've had to use the right restroom. Nobody said get out of here. But you know, it's not as if I'm going to a certain place. I mean, I'm going to places that I know are going to be safe. This would be accepting. But I do try. As I was saying earlier, I do try to.

Speaker 2: 7:11

I want to live a normal life and this is my normal life right and so I didn't want to be pigeonholed of only going to trans clubs or gay clubs or whatever and don't get me wrong, I love them. You know, I just want to meet your friends and everything else, but at the same time I do have a regular life and I try to to live that and, um, you know, I mean there's a couple places you kind of go okay, do I kneel, you don't I want to walk in there, do I?

Speaker 2: 7:41

you know, and you just kind of do it, you're right you know, and it's like that you, you try to go and I think, like I said, I'm lucky because I have friends that are transitioning as well, okay, but I also have cisgender friends and you know, I guess there's comfort in a pack.

Speaker 1: 8:03

How has therapy been a part of your process? Have you been counseling, or how has that worked for you?

Speaker 2: 8:09

It's been great. I think that I tried, without doing it, and I realized I couldn't. I knew that I had to get a little help. There's that stigma, right. Yeah, you know, and especially when you kind of get into this, it's a little easier. I mean, I can't stand, I can't say. I haven't had my moments where I've had to have that, um, oh my gosh, I gotta, I gotta see her right away, you know, and so you go in, yeah, um, but it's been good, good, and I think it's just me. I think it's helped me. I mean, becoming who I am. I would hope that I become a better person, because I think there's so many other things in my life that just make more sense. Right, you know, I just sit here and I I'd like to think I'm a better person. I do know I smile way too much.

Speaker 2: 9:01

I saw it with somebody that people were saying this, but I catch myself and I'll be walking by and like I'll look in a mirror. Not that I'm vain, because, believe me, I I know my limitations of how I look. You know, I know that and um, but I can see myself and I can. Yes, I'm happy when I mean I've noticed that literally I've, you know, walked down the streets and people. I'm always wondering. If you must look at her, what the hell is going on. Who's she smiling to? You know you're by, you know, walk down the streets and people. I'm always wondering people must look at her and go. What the hell is going on. Who is she smiling to? You know you're by yourself, you know, and um.

Speaker 3: 9:33

How about those pictures that you post Did?

Speaker 2: 9:36

you. It's because of people like you.

Speaker 3: 9:38

Excuse me, I say the pictures, like the recent pictures that you also sent us. Um, I was always wondering who teach you to post like.

Speaker 2: 9:52

See look at that smile. I have a friend and she just thinks you see me in some locations. You're wondering why are you in the middle of this ghetto? Or why are you? Why are in the middle of this ghetto, or why are you guys? You know inner city or whatever, and she'll just drive and we'll she'll go carry. Let's get out. We're gonna take some pictures of you so she.

Speaker 2: 10:18

She helped you how to pose and everything I think I kind of I mean she's helped me because she was kind of a model, but she goes. I don't really have anything to teach. I I mean, I just kind of do it. I just try not to fall down, you know, if I do my cross legs a certain way. So the fact that you would even say that, thank you very much you.