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The Trans•Parency Podcast Show
In The Trans•Parency Podcast Show podcast, the host team, Shelbe Chang, Shane Ivan Nash, Jessie McGrath, and Bloosm C. Brown take you on a journey exploring the transformation stories, community dynamics, advocacy, entertainment, trans-owned businesses, and current events surrounding the lives of trans individuals.
Join us in enlightening conversations as we sit down with guests from the trans, LGBTQ+ community, and allies. Through powerful storytelling, they delve into their journeys, highlighting the trans people's transition from who they once were to their authentic selves. Also, this podcast uncovers individuals' experiences as allies who positively impact the trans community.
Our purpose-driven mission is to empower the trans community and uplift our voices, ensuring that we can be heard and beyond far and wide.
The Trans•Parency Podcast Show
TRANS-PARENCY of the LGBT Love Stories
Special collab episode hosted by John Lewis Rushing Jr. from The Muse Evolution Podcast Show.
When Shelbe Chang walked into our studio, John knew we'd be having a conversation that would challenge perceptions and open hearts. As a transgender woman who successfully navigated the entertainment industry years before mainstream trans visibility, Shelbe's story is one of remarkable courage and creative determination.
Link to "The Muse Evolution Podcast Show"
https://themuseevolutionpodcastshow.com/the-podcast-video-hub?fbclid=IwAR35fWLwzCDTO1oaJ35huyfXZtGXEaHyow3xQVapJ3xbas8HNu1Siy2tPJM
Website:
THE MUSE EVOLUTION PODCAST SHOW:
themuseevolutionpodcastshow.com
Sponsor:
MUSE EVOLUTION PHOTOGRAPHY
museevolutionphotography.com
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Hello everyone and welcome to the Muse Evolution Podcast Show. I'm your host for the next hour. My name is John Lewis Rushing Jr. I am a photographer for the Muse Evolution Photography and I shoot fine art nude photography based out of Los Angeles, california.
Speaker 1:Today I am bringing on a distinguished guest that has been working in as a director, producer, writer, photographer, model not a used car salesperson, but we were able to say real estate, so we can say that as well. So, as far as it goes, I'm bringing in a model that I worked with several years ago, shelby Chang, that she came on here and she's going to be very open to talk about a lot of things that are like the elephant in the room. So the reality is she's a trans model and she's a banging trans model, because she not isn't just a model, she's a muse. She was a very accomplished muse when I worked with her and we actually worked on a very good project together that I call Gender Bender, and I believe we that particular, some of the shots from that shoot wound up going into Frock Magazine, a trans magazine as well. So, with no more ado, please, everybody, welcome to the show, shelby Chang.
Speaker 2:Hello John. Thank you for inviting me for this podcast, and I'm honored to be here. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. I love that you came and I'm ecstatic to get into some of these questions here. So first off, please indulge us by telling us a little bit of your work, professional background in the industry of what we're talking about.
Speaker 2:Okay, I started off to really get involved with modeling acting around 2011, 12-ish, as a trans person. I did shoot a lot of photographers' projects, including yours, and during those two, three years in the beginning I'm just kind of learning see how people are doing their project. And then, around 2014, I decided to make my own movie, because I always have this idea of making an anthology film and the idea just keep flashing through my mind, and so I started preparing the project, pre-production, and even I involved with the writing the script. And since it's an anthology film, so I decided to use three other directors and script writers, producers, and so the movie is called LGBT Lovebt's love stories and it has four segments and we break it down to you know lgbt. And so I wrote the t segment, uh, which is trans transgender story.
Speaker 2:Um, at that time, trans transgender story, transgender actress, wasn't a thing. At that time. This is way a couple years before Caitlyn Jenner came out, way before Transparent Amazon came out. So this is very pre. So I was blessed and grateful I was able to have a team with the cast, with the crew, and my goal was to use at least as much crew actors in the community, lgbt community, as much as possible. So we end up having about 90 to 95% of crew and actors in the community yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I, yeah so, and and again I was. I was just somebody new in doing this, so I again I. I'm very honored and and and and grateful for those people who trusted in me to to bring this project and to work together with me.
Speaker 1:Right and you got an award for that right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I got it. We did a few festivals, and the one that we won is a Best LGBT Film of the Month, and that festival is a little different. It's online streaming, which is around 2016. Right, this is also before all the streaming, which is around 2016. Right, and this is also before all the streaming, all the crazy Netflix which is during the streaming Right. So yeah, and then we also have show in Canada and we show in Germany. You know, there's a few festivals, lgbtq festivals, yeah.
Speaker 1:Excellent, excellent, okay. So look first off. You know kudos, it's like out the gate. I mean making a film and making that come together, that's like. That's like pulling a thought out of the air and making it actual reality and that is just phenomenal. So one of the things that I wanted to ask you was you know, I want to go back and I will, but I want to go back and I want to find out more about when, cause you're from Taiwan and I want to go back and talk about from the beginning, but I also want pre-trans right.
Speaker 1:And then I and but I do want to right now just say about, like your education. What did you have about your education? Did you have some background? Did you wind up going to school for this?
Speaker 2:Yes, I studied communication art in college and that's including film, tv and radio. At that time I focused on TV and film because radio it's all about speaking, talking like this, and my English wasn't so good at the time so I have a fear to doing any radio projects or involved with any radio class. So I did learn TV filming and we even shoot like homework for the school um TVs filming and we even shoot, you know, like homework for for the for the school, and we use, um you know, camcorder.
Speaker 2:VA it's in the mid 90s, right, um, yeah, so it's, it's fun and that's how I really developed the passion and yeah, and then also cause um and yeah, and then also because back then in the 90s, everything is analog, right, so it's not digital at all, but but if you have the talent, if, if you have an idea, it doesn't matter what kind of tools or where's the technology right, you just bring it out from you know, from the heart, from, yeah, from your, your your creativities, right, so, um, yeah, so.
Speaker 2:So I started from there and then I did some extra work behind um, like as a background actress in in my college year, just to see, compare from school setting to the real life you know know, real, real, um, uh, production what they look like and all that, yeah, so it's pretty interesting, awesome.
Speaker 1:So, um, and I am again, I'm still going to reach to the past um further back, but, um, one of the things was, um, what inspired you to actually start doing film? I mean, obviously there was something that like was there a film that kicked it into gear for you, that inspired you to want to be an actress?
Speaker 2:And then, about the writing was there something that just tugged at your heartstrings, that made you want to create. Growing up, I always have this dream to be in the entertainment industry. So I watched a lot of TV growing up and maybe that's why my school wasn't so good. So I watched a lot of TV, a lot of drama. I got a lot of influence from, of course, asian TV, drama, asian cinema. So Asian cinema there's a lot of arts kind of film. Of course we have like the entertainment you know, like for entertaining purpose, but there's also a lot of film that's for art, for festival purpose, so I watch all of them. Not many people will tend to watch the art part, but I did and I I really like the uh ang Lee style. If you're familiar with ang Lee, you know um and then um one coffee. Uh, their their film is like very artistic and you just sometimes you don't understand what they try to present.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, like that, yeah, right, right right.
Speaker 2:And yeah, so I'm a big fan of anthology film Like, also like Pulp Fiction. You've seen it? Yes yes so it's like different story but jammed into one film.
Speaker 1:Nice, you've seen it.
Speaker 2:So it's like different story but jammed into one film. So it's kind of like that or like I believe I remember it's called New Year. There's a bunch of famous actors in that movie and then they break it down to segments.
Speaker 1:And New Year. I haven't even seen that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you should check it out.
Speaker 1:I'm going to have to check it out Now. Look, I did wind up getting a chance to see some of the footage for our LGBTQ. Yeah, I'm just making sure that I'm not saying it LGBTQIA, because it's LGBTQ, right? Lgbt, that was your film.
Speaker 2:LGBT Love Story is my film.
Speaker 1:There you go, because again, 2014-ish the Q wasn't there, it wasn't there and the I wasn't there and the A wasn't there.
Speaker 2:So later on they add Q+. Q+ there you go, yeah, otherwise we're going to have an entire alphabet over us, right, right.
Speaker 1:So one of the things that I want to like, I said I'm going to go back and I'm going to ask a little bit more about when you were growing up, because you went through this transformation, this transition. But obviously now we know because we're talking to you and you said you're trans at the beginning. So let's go back to when you were younger and how did you grow up? What was your lifestyle like? And feel free to say did you know that you were trans?
Speaker 2:Well, growing up, I'm from Taiwan and at that time my dad was an immigrant here because of his family side. He was able to come here when I was three, okay, so I basically grew up with grandparents on my mom's side. So at that time I spent a lot of time with my uncles, my aunts, my grandparents, and they're very traditional Asian people, persons, and so the way they teach me is also very traditional, and so a lot of time I sat with at nighttime I sat with my grandma to watch Chinese opera. Okay, it's like it's similar to Peking opera. It's how it's like an actor or actress, they act in opposite gender or sex.
Speaker 1:Correct.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I thought that was very interesting. And I remember when I was, every time I would finish the show, watching the show, I would pretend I'm them. You know on TV, try to act like them. So I remember I took my mom's scarf and then. I put it on my head to make it like a long hair, like a wig yeah.
Speaker 2:So I didn't think of anything at that time and just you know it's now looking back, I'm kind of grow up different and kind of doesn't like a boy kid you know, playing outside, playing all those action hero figures, gi Joes all those things yeah so I don't play that. I'm just kind of just very feminine girly kind of kid. But I didn't think about oh, I'm going to become trans, oh, I'm a trans, Nothing like that I'm going to become trans.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm a trans, Nothing like that. So it just kind of just evolved later on. So we came here like around when I was 12, which it takes about almost 10 years for my dad to do all the paperwork and immigrant here, Right yeah. So I go to high school, junior high here, and then college. So in college years I start feeling a little different you know, because at that time the internet just started coming out, and I'm sure you remember AOL, right yeah?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, so at that time they already have little chat rooms. You know, just like the Facebook group, it has a particular topic or subject. So I was curious, I signed up to certain type of groups and chat with people and when I went on because, like I said, I feel different, so I went on those chat rooms, I chat as a girl.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then I took a selfie. Of course, that time selfie is not very clear, but selfie and without a hit you know, just the body. Yeah, you know like kind of dress girl clothes in the closet Right, right, right, I don't know how to do makeup. I don't have long hair like this right now.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So, you know, so I just check, and then to fast forward, then you know I evolved. I evolved to like, oh, maybe started meeting guys, offset off sites and then, um, you know, so I kind of feel, try to discover what's going on with me. At that time the only term or label that I knew about is gay, so I thought I would just have some gay expression or gay feelings. But I still do date girls at that time and I end up also married for two years when I was 28.
Speaker 2:So the marriage didn't work out. It's nothing to do with this side of my expression and of course my family and my wife at the time doesn't know. And I just, you know I try to hide a feeling.
Speaker 2:Suppress it yeah suppress it and try to maybe thinking okay, I'm going to go get married, I'm dating a girl and we'll probably go away, which I did in the beginning, you know Right. But somehow it just coming back. So, yeah, so I didn't. So the marriage lasted two years and it's because I know it's because I'm too young, I wasn't Immature, financial stable. It's because I know it's because I'm too young, I wasn't financially stable yet. And we still live with my family and that's just drama, trouble.
Speaker 1:Right, right, in-laws and all that get involved. Yes, good ones.
Speaker 2:So after the marriage ended and I continued dating girls, but the other side of me started coming stronger. So when I go, you know, I still chatting online. And now the quick list comes along, oh, okay. They usually have like a personal section. Right, yes, yes, they just ended, like a couple years ago not too long ago Anyway. So I meet up with some guys from there and when I meet up I did kind of dress up.
Speaker 2:I remember I took one of my sister's shirt or dress or my mom's shoes or heels to wear to go meet these guys and I put on like all. You call this Beamer. Like the not hat Beanie Beanie. Yeah, oh, beanie got it. Yeah, yeah To, because I have long like I already have long hair in the front, like this, you know. So I kind of have beamer covers, so I kind of like I don't know, just try to be a girl.
Speaker 2:Right right, right, yeah. So I did that for a few years and my relationship with that girl we ended up. We have a mutual breakup. We just feel we're not for each other. Right, it doesn't work out and we're still good friends. To tell today, awesome. And so at that same time I met a guy on Craigslist and he was a guy you know and he said he has a roommate that he's she's like a, like a transgender cross-dresser person, mm-hmm. So they have this club in Long Beach. It's called Hamburger Mary's.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And Hamburger Mary's every night has their own theme night. You know every weekend is different theme, so one of the weekend is called T-Girls Night, meaning trans girls night. Okay. So they asked me if I want to go. I said, okay, fine, I never been, as I bought a dress the first time, right, yeah, been, as I bought a, a probably a dress the first time, right, yeah and I had my wigs and and and did my awful makeup.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had a picture. So you guys, this is very crazy. Oh, oh, I want to. I also want to interject just for a second, in case you guys, I've never been on to the music evolution podcast show and you just are tuning in and you're realizing that this is an interesting podcast, I want you to know at the end of the podcast. Most of the times, whenever I have a guest on there, they bring on their whatever materials so that we could actually show it at the end. So maybe, if they're like a musician or an actor or an actress, shelby's given us some stuff that she's given us permission to air, and what is that?
Speaker 2:Well, I have a before and after picture.
Speaker 1:So you get to see the before and after, and I know you don't share that too often, right?
Speaker 2:No, I only post it one time on Facebook and there's a few reasons, because I really don't want to see myself from previous. Second, I don't really took picture when I was a guy because I don't have confidence as a guy. Yeah, it's totally different than now, because I'm happier and I feel how I feel inside and able to express outside is aligned right now. But before I didn't know what's going on with that Just no confidence and everything just seemed you know, no hope.
Speaker 1:I understand, but I just want you guys to know that there's going to be pictures at the end. Yes, and you're providing links to your, your uh, lgbt.
Speaker 2:Yes, we have a love story, we have a facebook page right now, which is created a long time ago, in 2014, um, and recently we uh published our script screenplay on amazon, so you can find the actual book. You can order it, or you can order Kindle. You can read it through your tablet. There you go.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry for interrupting, but I just want to make sure that people are tuning in. It's like, come on, we got bonus stuff at the end. I hope that you take a look at it and support her by looking at her work, looking at her work and following her work. Um, so so you were, you were still talking about your relationship and the friends uh, still having that friendship was still going on. Um, what, what, how, how has your being trans? How does that make you um, how does that show up in your creativity? I obviously you wrote this in your story and stuff like this. Do you feel that this is part of your calling to actually um one, bring your talent and your dream to fruition, but also, at the same time, championing your cause of, or championing LGBTQIA?
Speaker 2:And I got it, baby, I got all of it right.
Speaker 1:So do you feel like you're being like a pioneer in this quest to do this by documenting stuff?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did kind of feel that way at that time.
Speaker 2:And then the creation it's based on. You know the story, people, the story from people who's telling me in the community, guys or girls, and you know so. That's why, when they saw the trailer which is going to provide to you as well, some people saw the trailer and said, oh, I can relate, oh, this happened to me before, even guys, like there's a bisexual sequence, sex segment, it's about a married man and it has this strange feeling, right, and of course, it's hidden from wife and wife doesn't know, and wife found out later and you know, blah, blah, blah. So that that, that, just that A lot of guys in our community, that who, who came out from that, you know Right, can experience that and they can relay. And you know so I, I feel that I'm doing, I create, I do a arts and create art, but at the same time, I'm able to bring part of the uh, community's story on screen to maybe people, like in the mainstream they don't know the struggles, the story behind it, because all they're seeing is this. Or maybe you saw RuPaul.
Speaker 1:The drag shows.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we have a. The gay side is a drag show story, so it's similar to RuPaul, but it's more like a behind the scenes, because they do have the struggle, the trouble that everyone yes everyone is facing. Yeah, so and my transgender story is like the girl got kicked out from family because they don't accept them and she have to go on the street to be a working girl. You know, that's's a true story. I'm sure a lot of people probably saw.
Speaker 1:You know, I already know that part.
Speaker 2:I'm kind of chill because because I I have a lot of friend I like, that one of them, one of my friend, was has to do that and then she passed away, she got murdered. So that's why. And there's also a lot of hate. That goes on and a lot of people see us as a vulnerable victim, like an easy target. Victim, easy target yeah, us as a vulnerable victim, like an easy target victim Easy target yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so they will try to meet up with some of those girls and then rot them and then, you know, murder them.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then at that time you know, 2014 or earlier the justice, you know the media, doesn't pay attention on this kind of story. So again, bring back to my film. I felt I have the duty or the calling to show we're just trying to get by, Some girls just try to get by, and we're just it's not a choice to do this, Right, and from my own experience, and we're just it's not a choice to do this, you know, Right and from my own experience, when I transitioned, I kind of had it, I won't say easy, but I was more blessing, blessed, Right, Because my family, my mom, my dad, it's they accept me.
Speaker 1:You said that my dad, they accept me and I you said that and when we talked before, I was really surprised when you even said that you know that they accepted me and I was like you're lucky, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I am compared to a lot of people. The reason being is I believe everything happens for a reason. Everything happens for me. I mean, just like Tony Robbins said, everything in life doesn't happen to you, happen for you. So meaning, at that time my mom, we found out she diagnosed breast cancer. So at that time we were very shocked and we were very worried. So I kind of I had a relationship, my first relationship, a serious relationship at the time with my ex-boyfriend. So he came along and I introduced him to the family and blah, blah, blah. So because of that my family found out about me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you were doing a little closet stuff for a minute.
Speaker 2:Yeah because I don't know how to bring it up, because it's so weird. I mean, in Chinese culture it's hard to bring it up because we use the term, for example, let's say, because Thailand has a lot of ladyboys, right, right right. But in my language, when I translate ladyboy, it's called human monster.
Speaker 1:Oh, really, really.
Speaker 2:So how can I let's say, if you're my family, hey, I become a human monster. Oh wow.
Speaker 1:Because that's just going to make it worse right, yeah.
Speaker 2:Because the terminology way back, they don't know any good.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, anyway, so moving forward, so, anyway, so moving forward. So my parents, my mom, because of that, I think she changed life perspective, right? So in a way. So when I came out to my sister, first via text, and then my sister told my mom, my mom responds as long as I'm healthy, and happy, then it's okay right right and that's that's she was in that position.
Speaker 1:She was in that life changing position for herself that she was more opened up to all that stuff.
Speaker 2:That's right because she probably wouldn't have been the other way, right because at the end you know, no matter what you have, or how much money, or how much, how many materials you have, it's all come down to you to have to have health to enjoy everything absolutely yeah, especially these things with covid and everything but um, yeah, so that's why that's how I am um about coming out my family and I was lucky I don't have to go through the story that I wrote and the many girls that I heard their story in the community that they have to go through that trauma.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So you know what I want to now that I brought some of that to the forefront so that you have a little bit of a story about her not being a human monster. She's a lovely trans female We'll just call it exactly what that is and she's just a good person and she's a hard worker I guarantee you that, and I love her transparency. And one of the things that I want to prod you with is that you know working with okay, so we know that the community is starting to actually envelop, it's growing. There's a lot of festivals, pride there's all these are things that going on and stuff like that. Um, it's, it's.
Speaker 1:It was hard for people to be able to have, uh, opportunities like what you're you're doing now. So my thing is uh, as you being like the fulcrum to that transition, do you see yourself in the future doing more writing, more producing and stuff like that? I mean, does I mean? I know you've got your your daily job, I got a daily job. I know you got your daily job, but I mean isn't. Are there more opportunities that you'd like to create in?
Speaker 2:yes, um, because the way I have the idea, creativity, it's all kind of linked to my personal life. So back then I just started and I heard a lot of, like I said, a lot of different stories and now I'm kind of went to a second phase or whatever you call next phase. Second phase or whatever you call next phase, um, I, you know, blend into the real world. The you know um, it's not in a community, it's not shelter, right, protection and only go to those uh bars that we are comfortable with, you know.
Speaker 2:So I'm kind of go outside of that, that comfort zone you know we call it and, of course, in the beginning it's a very uncomfortable, especially finding, you, say, daytime job, and when I first started looking for a job as a trans person, that was 2016, 17 ish. It's tough because a lot of people are still not very informed. So I remember I went to my first interview as a trans person. It's an Asian company, so they set a table like this and they have three or four people interviewing me at once and they just ask regular questions what's your experience, what's your background? Blah, blah, blah. And then, due to because I'm not experienced with interviews as a trans person, I told them about myself. I said, oh, I'm a trans person, and then you know I'm, and so they all started getting all geared.
Speaker 1:how do you call it Anxious?
Speaker 2:Yeah, like uh-oh, yeah, yeah yeah, you know so and then they, and then they sent the company's boss, the owner or CEO, to interview me with the. It's just admin, you know, small position, Anyway. So the boss and the CEO came in. They started asking me very, very personal questions Like, first of all, what bathroom am I going to use? Yeah, and then, how long have you been this way? Right, and is your family okay? See, it's not. It has become like it's not a job.
Speaker 1:They cross the line. Yeah, yeah, they cross the line, right.
Speaker 2:And then I'm not sure if there's a labor law at that time yet or not for us but now we do. We have an equal job, labor law to protect us. Certain things they can ask or cross the lines. So from that experience I learned and I started getting from uncomfortable slowly to be used to it. So down the road I able to find a job that they don't ask me that question. I don't have to say I am who I am unless they ask Right right, Don't ask, don't tell.
Speaker 1:Don't ask, don't tell. That worked for you, right? It's like don't ask, don't tell, just leave me alone and just hire me based on the quality of work that I'm able to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah so I'm at this work for three years now and nobody ever questioned me. Maybe they knew, I'm sure my lady boss you know, but she never questioned me, she never you know, make any difference Right. So, and then I also got involved with real estate. Okay, so I'm a realtor in Southern California right now. So same thing, my broker. They're all fine, because it's based in Long Beach, I'm not sure if that makes any difference.
Speaker 1:Probably makes a lot of difference as opposed to being somewhere in Montana. So I mean, probably I'm not sure I'm not saying anything bad about Montana, I'm just saying that you know that it's, I don't know what is it by population is no, no, I forgot, because I used to think at one time San Francisco was the spot that was okay to be out, but then I think Long Beach is like one, but there's another place that's West Hollywood, west.
Speaker 2:Hollywood West.
Speaker 1:Hollywood, west Hollywood, I agree, west Hollywood for sure.
Speaker 2:West.
Speaker 1:Hollywood. Yeah, so you're free to be you. An interesting little side story. It's kind of funny.
Speaker 1:A lot of people always like say, would you really put yourself on blast about anything that you've ever done in your entire life? And I really I'm not. I'm, I'm really a transplant person. I really I just tell my stories and it is what it is for me and I don't care. So so you can research it or whatever.
Speaker 1:But, um, a long time ago, I was with a workshop group which is actually supposed to help you heighten your awareness to a personal workshop, and it was very interesting because one of the things that wound up happening was there was a thing of where they actually said you have to dress trans. And I was like like what was that? So, um, but was interesting because I figured that I'd go borrow clothes or something like that and they go uh no, you got to go buy your clothes. So I was what? So what it was, what? That was very interesting for me because, um, people could figure out whatever reasons that they thought it was supposed to go down, but it opened up a huge thing for me because it's like I'm like this would be difficult even for someone who's trans who's never done it before like to go out and buy.
Speaker 1:Uh, I'm a big guy. You see how big my feet are. I was skinny then. I was gorgeous, don't get it wrong, I was hot dressed up. Can we see a picture? You know what? I really wish I could find a picture. I'm sure someone's got one somewhere in the world. But I was hot, I was gorgeous, I don't care what you tell.
Speaker 1:I had to go buy shoes and I remember the lady, she shoes, and I remember the lady. She's like oh, honey, honey, I know a place where you could go and she gave me all this information and she goes and you can go there anytime you want. I go. No, you don't understand, but I understood. I went and got the shoes, I went and got everything. I was hot, I'm telling you, and I had me a, but I wound up. I was hot, I'm telling you, and I had me a wig, but I wound up from me actually doing theater and all this other stuff. I wound up doing makeup and I remember my mom was ill with cancer at the time and I was trying to get past your parents and stuff like that to you in your privacy and, uh, I remember my mom woke up and she saw me, oh yeah, and so I just remember I was like you don't understand, and she was scared. So was your mom scared about you dressing trans and going in public and stuff like that?
Speaker 2:Well, she's just very concerned about you know, my safety overall she wasn't.
Speaker 1:Right, right right.
Speaker 2:And when I transitioned to a girl, yes, she did have those. I won't say worry, just just how do you call it care? Right, it's concern, yeah, concern the type of concern she will have it on my sister, will have it on me now yeah, yeah, like oh, make sure you don't dress too short.
Speaker 1:Right, right, right so I was just wondering. So I mean, that just gave me a whole from what I thought I would have, my mindset. It just opened up a lot of things. I mean, when you started going to buy stuff, how hard was that?
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know about in the early days, but for me, when I come along, online shopping was obviously so you tried it on at home, but for me when I come along.
Speaker 1:online shopping was already a thing, so you tried it on at home.
Speaker 2:So I order my. You know, in the beginning stage I order a lot from online Right, Well, pretty much from online, Okay, and of course there's time that doesn't fit. So we have you know, I say we because many people do the same thing so they have to return it. You know, in Boimo to the store.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and when I've evolved from online shopping ordering stuff online, I went to store In the beginning when I was still not fully full-time yet. I went as a guy to go shop girl clothes. I would take some men's clothes to mix it with the girls' clothes. You know, to bring it to the checkout line, and yeah, but of course I don't need those guy clothes. It just makes people think I'm buying it for my girlfriend, or something Right, right, right.
Speaker 1:So I mean, yeah, make people think I'm buying it for my girlfriend. Yeah, right, right, right. So I mean, yeah, I think that experience just made me able to relate a little bit more to to like, okay. So this just in general you've got to be committed to be you know, this is who you are. So obviously you're doing what you're doing and, um, you know, I, I, I commit, uh, I commend you for doing it, because it's hard to be who you are with a mask on all the time of pretending you're not that person. That's right.
Speaker 2:So that's why, as a guy before I mentioned earlier, I wasn't feel happy, I wasn't confident and I don't feel accomplished somehow and I've been very introvert, shy person before Before. Totally opposite. I don't know why it's just a magic Right Like magic. And then when I talk to some other girls in our community, many have the same experience oh, I was a, I was a nerd, I was a geek.
Speaker 1:Oh really, really, I was a narcissist, right.
Speaker 2:You know, no fashion whatsoever, right. So, and then yeah, and then somehow, I don't know why, when I'm, like I say, aligned to this right, I just not shy. Don't see, I'm doing film, I'm doing modeling, right.
Speaker 2:So this is not a shy person would do right yeah, or even now, right right um, yeah, and I, I, I and I get to meet a lot of people that I never thought I would meet, including you, because, as a guy, I was in this little circle of Asian Chinese friends and that's why my English was bad at that time, because I don't get to speak it.
Speaker 1:Right, you stay within that small community.
Speaker 2:Yeah, little spot community and I never thought I would have a boyfriend that's white or have many friends or you know different colors.
Speaker 1:Right right, right, right, right yeah.
Speaker 2:So that's, very interesting.
Speaker 1:It just broke the mold that you probably would have been in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the path of life just somehow just took me down to that path.
Speaker 1:I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 1:I know that, just in everything sometimes you walk into, you realize that there's something that you want and you start walking towards it and then you wind up seeing different blockades, and maybe it's the color of your skin, or or maybe it's it's because, uh, your, your ethnicity, or maybe it's because your, your, your sexual preference, or or or how you identify. A lot of these things are are barriers that a lot of people start to do, and I'm going to just straight up say it's like it's hard not to say it's impossible to say people, don't judge other people, because that's what we have been doing all our entire lives. You know, we're taught immediately to assess someone from just on a glance and create this backstory from information that you've gathered from, say, your mother or your uncle or your boss or your best friend, and you guys compile all these ideologies together and you impose them onto somebody else and a lot of time that hinders them from actually growing and becoming a better person, an artist, and sometimes you don't realize it, but you make them stronger.
Speaker 2:Yes, so you just have to go over the hump.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah.
Speaker 2:Life has different obstacles. I experienced that myself, even though I'm outshining my, you know, smooth, positive experience. But when I broke up with my ex, I had a very bad recovery. I was very depressed, I was very broken for two, three years and, like you said, even in my own friends group of friends they judged me, they weren't there for me.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry to say that, but Even in my own friends, group of friends.
Speaker 2:They judge me, they weren't there for me. I'm sorry to say that, but it's just a fact. Yeah, and you know, the gossip, the drama just make me feel worse, right, you know, to be honest, and, as you know, we have a mutual friend, right, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, just so that I'm going to I'm not going to get so involved into it, right, right, yeah, she was a very, very, very, very dear close friend to me and I loved her very much and stuff happens. You know, people get caught up in their own stuff. Yeah, and you were in a spin.
Speaker 2:I was in that shoes too, and you know, I did have a thought, like her, to hurt myself. Okay, yeah, I was again lucky or blessed. I was able to experience something that I never thought will help me to get out of that hole. Right and very unfortunately I actually couldn't. And now, thinking about it today, I wish I was there for her for many occasions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and unfortunately, you know stuff like that happens and sometimes you're able to be there and you're able to catch people when they're falling and you wish sometimes you're able to be there and you're able to catch people when they're falling and you wish. Sometimes you're not and you wish you could be and, um, you know, sometimes stuff happens, but the reality is is that when there's no one there to be your support, like your friends that are there for you or your family that is not able to give you that support that you need, sometimes you need to step outside the box. Sometimes you need to get counseling, a doctor, somebody to talk to, a doctor, somebody to talk to. And one of the things that we agreed to also is that, for people who are watching this program that are going through whatever you're going through, that I'd very much like for you, if you're't turn up to the people that you know and love and that you feel that should be there for you, that you actually take the time to try to save yourself and um, probably calling like the national suicide um, lifeline, um and I've got the number we're going to put up on the screen for you guys later on um, if you wind up having problems like this.
Speaker 1:Keep it on speed dial on your phone, program it in your phone if need be. You know, and the number is 1-800-273-8255. And you could also go on to suicidepreventionlifelineorg. And you know your life is very precious, not just just to you but to everyone else around you, because in the ripples of the effects of suicide and the loss of life of somebody that you really truly love and care about, it's just devastating and never leaves yeah, um, and don't feel embarrassed about telling you know do not feel embarrassed because, because life happens and no matter who you are, what color, what, like you said, gender identity, sexuality, we all been through the same thing and and I know social media make it make it worse in in some sort of perspective.
Speaker 2:Maybe, you know, you might say, oh, I'm happy and all that, but not everybody deep down feel the same thing. I feel that's how you know. We miss that part from Ashley Absolutely, because she's a beautiful girl, very beautiful girl. So that's her. You know of social, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I mean, it's kind of like I said, the people that you touch it's like there's ripples and you know we we met a long time ago, uh, doing the shoot, but it's like the, the connection that we have has never left. You know, it's like we've always touched back and touched base from time to time and I don't see that ever changing. And obviously, like, if every kid's a point to where you need something, you know you can call me, you can talk to me or whatever you too.
Speaker 2:I will, I will.
Speaker 1:I will. I mean, life is challenging, so even in trying to attain your goals, you know you've got a lot of things that come into the way, and just don't do anything rash. Just stay with us as long as you can. Life is precious, yes. So is there anybody who's influencing you right now as an actor or actress, and are you able to get into any opportunities right now, or are you just really focused on working and being a working actor, actress and stuff like that?
Speaker 2:Well, my mom is a big influence to me, the entire life, not every aspect of life, because she's very strong. She's still fighting for her cancer right now.
Speaker 1:Cancer her yes.
Speaker 2:So that's just. You know, that's a spirit that I got from her. Everything I do, I don't just give up and I'm creating. Recently, I'm just creating my, my, my, um career with real estate business and I'm, I'm, I'm going back to the film. Yes, yes, I have this idea to do a documentary to um show, um trans people that's in the workforce, like, like, like, like everyone else. You know, we're no difference. When we work, we're very professional. Uh, we don't. We're not acting like the the show entertainment on the tvs, right, you know, like hi bitch, you know we don't do that. We're just like you, everyday people. And I think the media today, or the film or TV industry, they don't show that side of us Because they show the glamour you know, like the famous people, models.
Speaker 2:Right so people might think or so they, they. People might think oh, they're just these people on the stage, so when they, when they're not on TV, then they're probably a guy or something, right, right, right, that it ends, that it ends, yeah, yeah. Right, but it's not Right. We, we are living it like what in the reality we are living, we're doing and we try to do our job in a society as well.
Speaker 1:Right, right, right. I love that. Want to see like in the next couple decade with next decade with um uh lgbtqia um, well, you met.
Speaker 2:You didn't mention earlier about um. You know, we, we back then from maybe in the 70s, 80s, people for lgbt only able to hang out in San Francisco, right, right. And then we now have WeHo, we have Long Beach and part of San Diego too. So in the next decade, I hope, being to see we can be everywhere. We can be just walking anywhere, any country worldwide or even any planet you never know. So you know to not to have be afraid to be who we are any country worldwide or even any planet, you never know. So you know to not be afraid to be who we are. Right Not to be afraid of not showing the authentic side of us. And also on the other side, I hope people are not so judgmental anymore.
Speaker 1:So your advice, I'd love to get your advice for, um, uh, a young trans person, um that is, uh, just probably, just maybe confused, probably up against the wall with, uh, with um, gender identity issues with inside their home or within their community. Let's talk about bashing, let's talk about that. Is there any advice that you can give to someone coming up in that right now?
Speaker 2:Right, young people. I think today's young people has more information because we are in the information ages. They can learn a lot from YouTube and Internet. But I want to share this Remember we should learn from our past, meaning whatever gets you struggle, that might not be the reason you to stop. It might be just a lesson for you to move forward. Okay, and a lot of people like we talk about suiciding, and also because we are living in the past, you know we're not living in the present because, if we like, like my depression, I lost my person I love and I'm just keep worrying, I'm thinking, thinking in the past in the past.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not living in the present. So if you can learn from the past living in the present, you can transform your future so awesome so it's all about mindset. It's about if you put your mind into doing whatever you know arts, film, photography, or even yourself. If you put your mind into it, anything is possible. And yes, there will be struggle, there will be obstacles, but that's just life happen for you to get, for helping you to get to your next phase of life.
Speaker 1:Awesome, awesome, awesome. Um. Now, um, I don't know if uh has anyone. I think I asked and we'll let you answer this has anyone tried to do harm to you as a trans person?
Speaker 2:yes, kind of sort of. But I, I should also blame myself because I put myself in that situation, because I was depressing and I did something stupid.
Speaker 1:So I came across.
Speaker 2:I hang out with the wrong people Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, and.
Speaker 2:I did something that's going to harm my life, harm my future and make people who love me sad. So when I try to get out of that the person who I hung out with, he doesn't want me to leave. He doesn't want me to. You know, leave right.
Speaker 1:So I had some sort of um, um trouble at that time. Yeah, so I don't know. If this can't answer your questions, you know what again I I always, I always tell people this I am not a therapist, I am not a therapist, so I am not a therapist. So I will talk to you and when we wind up getting to a wall, I'm not going to try to make you break through that wall. If that's where it's at, that's where the buck lies. I'm not Barbara Walters, I'm not Walter Cronkite. This is not a breaking story, but this is always an opportunity for you to share your most honest, transparent truth.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, I never really shared this part on the media and yeah, so I was using substance for a little bit for a certain time yeah. And I wasn't addicted to it or anything.
Speaker 1:I would just feel lonely.
Speaker 2:I just feel depression, right, and yeah. So, like I said, I hung out with the wrong person and they tried to harm me. You know my future and want me to suffer, so yeah, yeah, people are vindictive.
Speaker 1:they will. You can never. I mean, sometimes they always go oh, there's somebody you can trust this person, and then you get to a certain point and you're just like wow I didn't see that they blindsided me and they just took advantage of me and they literally just ripped me apart.
Speaker 1:So I'm glad that you got away with that and not not in harm's way. But, um, people are always. You got to be careful about who your clique is and stuff like that. Like they always say, you know smiling faces, you know the people that are smiling on your face and patting on your back. You've got to sometimes be a little aware that those people have something else in mind. But it's kind of hard to be, to keep trying to be authentic, keep being the beautiful person that you are and just being real. And let me see is there any platforms that you want to turn around and give a shout out to? Besides the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, Is there anything else within the community that you work in, that you live in or are part of? Is there any organization, anything?
Speaker 2:I'm right now part of Long Beach LGBTQ Chambers of Commerce and it's business. I volunteer there and I'm a committee for trans people and because a lot of trans people aren't in business and I believe we can fix that, because it's just we need to have more opportunities, you know, job-wise or like maybe own a small business.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I want to give a shout out to that organization because Whoop, whoop.
Speaker 1:Shelby Chang in the house representing giving you guys a little bit of love. I love that, no worries. In the house representing giving you guys a little bit of love. I love that. Um, no worries, um and uh. So so again, why don't you do me a favor and give me some of your, your data, some of your, your websites, your uh, instagram and all these things like that, so that everybody can stay in touch with you and reach out to you? You're going to have friends.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my handle for Instagram is Imshelbe and that's on Instagram. That's on Instagram. And if you are in Southern California, I also have a real estate page. It's Long Beach Real Estate on Instagram, ig. Yeah, so if you're looking to buy homes or sell homes, please reach out to me. I will definitely help you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, awesome, and I'm sure that if there's any other parts for movies that come up and I'm going to tell you what you need to check out lgbt love story because, um, I I wound up seeing segments of it with her in it and I'm telling you I got chills. I loved it. She was amazing and this isn't me just mulling bone, smoke up your bum, I'm for real and she brought it strong. So I commend you for pursuing your acting career.
Speaker 1:Also as a model, now, I was shooting everything at the time shooting. I was shooting everything at the time um, shelby, shelby threw it down, shelby, she was unmerciful throwing it down and she gave me like, a lot of gusto, um, because she's not just a model, she's a muse, so I really appreciate her giving and, like people say, leave a pound of sweat and blood on the floor. She gave me that as well. And thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a part of Frock Magazine and shooting and having your image in that. And, yeah, and thank you for doing part of that little gender bender thing with with, uh, uh, oh, my god, you guys, you guys, uh, one of the images that I have that I love was, um, uh, that had ashley pert in there with shelby uh, the whole gender bender thing. I love when people wind up looking at the picture and it's uh, it's shelby in like this panties and something else like that, whatever.
Speaker 1:Bikini, bikini, that's what it was One of them. I could have been a bikini, but either way, we also had Ashley Pert and she was she's amazing. She was amazing. She had a mustache, she had a goatee.
Speaker 2:You know what I did ask her to see if she wanted to participate in my film.
Speaker 1:Oh, did you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:She was in that film.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's right. She couldn't drive yeah.
Speaker 1:But God, she's definitely loved and missed.
Speaker 2:Yes, we miss her and she always wanted us to work together again. So here we are today.
Speaker 1:Here we are, and she's been here in this room I'm sure she's swirling about and again, love her, love you Love you too. Thank you so much, darling, and at this moment I want you to turn around and look into that camera. Say peace out, tell everybody love all right, all righty thank you so much for having me thank you for coming and thank you for being so transparent and uh informative about your career and about your uh, your dreams and passions and your, your uh, struggles as well.
Speaker 1:Thank you, yes, thank you. Thank you, john. All right, thank you Everybody. Thank you very much for joining the Muse Evolution Podcast show for this episode with Shelby Chang. And, like I said, if you guys are going through on your own personal level any struggles in your life, feeling of depression, and you need an outside source, please turn around and reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline oh, sorry, not hotline Lifeline. And again, that number is 1-800-273-25, 8255. We don't want to mess up on the suicide hotline number. Okay, so I'm going to give that to you one more time. So it's 1-800-273-8255. We do not need a wrong number on there and it's suicidepreventionlifelineorg. All right. So thank you again for joining the Muse Evolution Podcast. I'm John Rushing. Check out the music at the end and check out what Shelby's got going on Peace out, playing with the mind of the children of a simple girl guitar solo, and find your way. Bridge to the vines.
Speaker 2:Of minds of strength that elevate the world With a dream you are the Filament of the sun, the harvest of Shepherds of tomorrow.
Speaker 1:You've reached the meeting point of the mind. Join the Deals of the nation. We're going to meet and we're going to come to life. Joy is the reason.
Speaker 2:Joy is the reason I just want to talk. What do you want to talk about you? I lost everything my family.
Speaker 1:My friends, my job. What have you been doing? Have you been with another man? I want you to get out of the house.
Speaker 2:Get out. I'm married with a child. My wife doesn't understand me.
Speaker 1:You and Thomas were great together On stage and all I broke up with you. You broke up with me. Who the hell cares, what's the?
Speaker 2:difference. The problem with the two of you is your egos. You became a drag queen from hell. My new boyfriend, ernesto, is coming to pick me up. Why is Tomás dressed like a gay thug? I gotta say the dude looks shady. I bet he's wearing one of those parole GPS ankle bracelets. You got an invitation for Thomas' birthday party.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, you didn't Happy birthday boy. Happy birthday Tomás. This is my girlfriend Amber.
Speaker 2:Not really a girlfriend. That's just a bad idea. It's like a bad idea. But Is she straight? Yeah, I mean, she has a boyfriend. She has a boyfriend but he's a jerk. It's in the lesbian handbook. Trust me, I I've been there and don't tell me we have to share the same bathroom with her.
Speaker 1:You mean with him. Do you know this could damage our company's image and reputation? They're just putos in dresses, right?
Speaker 2:No, no, it's not that it's burlesque, it's dance, it's singing, it's making people laugh.
Speaker 1:It's art.
Speaker 2:Who are you fighting Jack Society Prejudice? Look, I live my life trying to be true to who I am. I'm not afraid to kiss someone who I love in public. This is going to go viral. Monetize it, bitches.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining the Muse Evolution Podcast Show. For those of you joining us via audio podcast platforms, there is an alternative. The Muse Evolution Podcast Show can also be viewed on wwwthemuseevolutionpodcastshowcom. The Muse Evolution Podcast Show is absolutely free to listen to, but it is an independent for-profit business that is created by Muse Evolution Photography, the creator of fine artworks created from around the world and high-resolution photographs by artist John Lewis Rushing Jr. We hope that you visit Muse Evolution Photography at wwwmuseevolutionphotographycom and view some of our products. Wwwmuseevolutionphotographycom and view some of our products there. You can support the program by purchasing yourself something that is useful, like a t-shirt, ppe apparel, a calendar to something more decadent for yourself as a gift or for purchasing for a friend, such as a book, affordable posters to creating your own collection of limited museum quality fine art pieces and starting your journey to becoming a connoisseur or purveyor of modern fine art. Thank you.
